advertisement
Question
Posted by: Gugs | 2010-02-26

Husband abusing

Since I met this man he has not held a proper job,he worked at restuarants which we all know that don''t pay a decent salary,with my support he recently stopped working and started small business.The business is not doing well and he is now looking to get another job,but to me he is not serios enough (when i bring him carrear papers he ignores them)i take care of everything in the house and we live a basic life which is not expensive,although I can feel the heavness of one income but that is not a big point as long as we have a roof and something to eat plus i can at least pay all the depts we have.I work extra hrs to improve my salary so that i don''t feel the gap.
When I get home the guy has not done a thing,i must still cook,wash dishes,clean,bath our 4 year old etc,while he is watching tv.i spoke to him about it that I come from work very tired and thatI need his support,i asked him to help me do some of the chores, he gets angry with me saying that I am too bossy because i have too much money and that i want to control him, this makes me sad as i loved him for who he is and not what he has,it feels almost like he punishes me or makes me feel as its my fault that his life is less than mine(money wise)I never boosted to him and had always included him in my finance which i always though that its ours.This has been going on for a while now and am getting to a point where i loose my hope.He is always angry,he is always tense.i do not know when last we had intercourse or cuddled.I am frustrated and want out of this relationship/marriage.i live on sleeping pills to suppress my feelings.am even thinking of getting someone who will satisfy some of my needs.last nit after i talked to him again about getting help from him, he started doind washing,changing linen bed, doing spring cleaning the rest of the night.I am sick of it.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he can't be bothered to earn enough to pay his share of the household and family expenses, the least he could do would be household chores and other odd jobs, to at least spare you that burden. You wouldn't need to do anything like tryin to control him, if he had the gumption to control himself, as an adult man is supposed to do.
Are you saying that after your last talk, he HAS started doing some cooking, cleaning, etc ? If so, praise him lavishly and make him feel good for doing these necessary things - that's a more effective was to influence his behaviour.
Any chance of some marriage / couples counseling sessions ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-02-26

If he can't be bothered to earn enough to pay his share of the household and family expenses, the least he could do would be household chores and other odd jobs, to at least spare you that burden. You wouldn't need to do anything like tryin to control him, if he had the gumption to control himself, as an adult man is supposed to do.
Are you saying that after your last talk, he HAS started doing some cooking, cleaning, etc ? If so, praise him lavishly and make him feel good for doing these necessary things - that's a more effective was to influence his behaviour.
Any chance of some marriage / couples counseling sessions ?

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement