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Question
Posted by: myself | 2011/03/24

Hurting myself

Whenever my husband treats me badly by acting verbally or emosionally abusive I feel like hurting myself. Sometimes I hit myself on the legs, or I might bump my head against the wall if it is really bad. I also feel like cutting my own throat, althoug I will never ever do that. My husband then says that I am abusing him by hurting myself or threatening to kill myself. Am I also then the abuser??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This is a fairly common reaction, though obviously not a useful one thatdeserves to be encouraged. And it is, isn't it, a form of alliance with the abuser, so that when he starts hurting you, you continue the job for him. You're not abusing him in the faintest way, and he's merely using one of the typical excuses abusers use. But there is an extent to which you are abusing yourself - do see a good local psychologist for assessment and a consideration of treatment by psychotherapy / counselling, for your own benefit, and to examine your options, including safe ways to leave an abusive spouse

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Phil | 2011/03/24

Most definately yes  in one of the worst forms.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/24

This is a fairly common reaction, though obviously not a useful one thatdeserves to be encouraged. And it is, isn't it, a form of alliance with the abuser, so that when he starts hurting you, you continue the job for him. You're not abusing him in the faintest way, and he's merely using one of the typical excuses abusers use. But there is an extent to which you are abusing yourself - do see a good local psychologist for assessment and a consideration of treatment by psychotherapy / counselling, for your own benefit, and to examine your options, including safe ways to leave an abusive spouse

Reply to cybershrink

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