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Question
Posted by: Cya | 2012/08/29

Hurting

Im going thru a lot lately, firstlly Im having problems with my boyfriend. We are disconnecting all because his going thru a rough phase in his life, when ever he has problems he shuts me out completly and evryone else around him. His done this before bt we managed to work things out, I feel that Im loosing him and and I cant deal with the pain. Secondly I just lost a family member and it was all so sudden and unexpeceted.

Im dealing with so many emotions and I dont know what to do with myself, lately Im emotional and all I want to do is sleep its hard for me to get up and go to work. Im a sociable person bt lately I dont even go out I just want to be by myself. Im always loosing my temper and I find myself plotting revenge on my bf for hurting me. I really hate the way I feel.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

When he is going through real problems in his life, rather than worrying about his withdrawing from being supportive and sustaining towards you, how supportive and encouraging are you towards him at those times ? Is he actually, as you imply, trying to hurt you, or are you allowing yourself to feel hurt by maybe expecting more from him than he is able to provide while trying to handle his own troubles ?
Clearly you have also been facing difficulties with the loss of a family member. Are there other family members or friends ou can turn to for support and someone to chat to ? It usually takes us months to get through a significant bereavement, and not going out is not disaster ; rather spend time with friends and alone, until you feel more sociable again

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Cya | 2012/08/29

CS I try to be there for him but he pushes me away and says he wants to be by himself and I respect that but I thought when you are together u face the storms together but he pushes me awy.

Reply to Cya
Posted by: hobo | 2012/08/29

He isyour boyfriend and not your husband. Just move on. Just love yourself and enjoy life. Stop stressing about other people. Your health is very important. He might be ignoring you whereas he is getting a punai net door

Reply to hobo
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/08/29

When he is going through real problems in his life, rather than worrying about his withdrawing from being supportive and sustaining towards you, how supportive and encouraging are you towards him at those times ? Is he actually, as you imply, trying to hurt you, or are you allowing yourself to feel hurt by maybe expecting more from him than he is able to provide while trying to handle his own troubles ?
Clearly you have also been facing difficulties with the loss of a family member. Are there other family members or friends ou can turn to for support and someone to chat to ? It usually takes us months to get through a significant bereavement, and not going out is not disaster ; rather spend time with friends and alone, until you feel more sociable again

Reply to cybershrink

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