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Question
Posted by: ANON | 2012-11-29

HURT

So my husband teases (flirts) with a young girl and I have told him I am not happy about it, he does not seem to think he is flirting!!! Now he has hired her to work for him!!!! I am extremely hurt and completely at a loss as to what to say and do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

How young ? Presumably though younger than him, she's old enough to take a job with him or his company. Older men, especially when they start feeling really old, sometimes become embarrassingly coy and flirty with younger women so as to try to feel more masculine, while risking looking more ridiculous.
If he really planned something nasty with her, would he flirt in such a way that you would see and notice it ? Is he that clumsy ?
IS the real problem, perhaps, more that he DOESN'T get flirty and have fun with you, as you naturally feel he should ? That he spends less time with you than you want, and gives you less attention than you wish for ?
Think, maybe, of encouraging him, as a Christmas gift, to join you in some sessions of marriage counselling, to enhance the relationship between you and the joy you are able to give each other.

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Our users say:
Posted by: CANDICE | 2012-11-29

Men do not like it if women show insecurity.You have expressed that you feel unhappy about it maybe tell him one last time that he upset you that he hired her but you know you cannot tell him what to do and you hope he shows you the respect that you deserve in his work enviroment. Generally men do not like to be told they cannot do something - unfortunetly you cannot control him but you can control your own emotions and actions.

If I was you I would just be confident (even pretend) dont moan about it and show him that you are one fantastic women yourself.

Reply to CANDICE
Posted by: ANON | 2012-11-29

I doubt he would do anything but the fact is that I have told I am unhappy and have mentioned that i wish he would be so much fun with me and that i need more attention to no avail but now he gets to spend more time with her having fun, chatting etc etc It hurts that he knew how I felt but still went ahead anyway, no concern for my feelings at all.

Reply to ANON
Posted by: Milla | 2012-11-29

Do you have any reason to believe he would do something with this girl? Has he betrayed your trust in the past? Are you not just perhaps a bit paranoid because you feel bad about yourself? I ask because generally, when men are up to no good they would not tease and flirt with another woman so openly and infront of their own wife?
When you say he teases and flirts with this girl what kind of things have you seen? Is it not maybe just way he behaves around people in general, part of is personality?

Reply to Milla

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