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Question
Posted by: Zin | 2011/05/13

Hurt

My 14 year old son doesn''t mind walking around naked after bathing from bathroom to his bedroom which is ver close to each other. He is been like that since he was young. He doesn''t do that if he is not home though. I''ve been telling him that he must use the bath towel but he uses it for few times then forgets. I took him to the doctor few weeks ago for circumcision and he showed me his penis and whenever he had a problem he would tell me and show me. I was not comfortable because he is now old and I ended up telling him that he must at least show his step dad but the step dad was not interested so he contunued to show me until it was completely healed. So this morning he was from the bathroom as usual naked and the step dad shouted at him for doing that telling him that he is a fool because he is failing to do a small thing like that. I was hurt so bad and I cried because I didn''t see a need for him to call him a fool just for that.

Is there something wrong with a my boy for feeling comfortable around me naked?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If this is how he was brought up from an early age, it's not necessarily a problem that he continues to do this. The real problem is your discomfort when he is natural and unself-conscious about his nudity, and you are uneasy about it.
Maybe he has focussed on you because his step father is not so close and apparently much less interested in him. He seems to keep well within normal family behaviours - at least he's not wandering nude round the super-market, but limiting his behaviour to ordinary circumstances in the home. TO him, it may seem that you are over-reacting, almost like asking him to wear shorts while taking a bath.
The boy is not doing anything wrong - and you risk teaching him to feel bad about himself and his body, and to believe that the human body is dirty or wrong. Rather have a calm family discussion about how, as one grows more mature, as he is doing, one usually reduces one's degree of exposure to others, even within the family.
And if you continue to feel so strongly about it, consider seeing a counsellor yourself, as it soudns as though you may have very relevant issues about mother-son relationships and nudity

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Norma | 2011/05/16

You son might be 14, but his actions prove that he is still innocent. Your behavier towards him is teaching him to be ashamed and feel there is something wrong with nudity. You need to protect and love your son, he is simply comfortable in his own skin.

Reply to Norma
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/14

If this is how he was brought up from an early age, it's not necessarily a problem that he continues to do this. The real problem is your discomfort when he is natural and unself-conscious about his nudity, and you are uneasy about it.
Maybe he has focussed on you because his step father is not so close and apparently much less interested in him. He seems to keep well within normal family behaviours - at least he's not wandering nude round the super-market, but limiting his behaviour to ordinary circumstances in the home. TO him, it may seem that you are over-reacting, almost like asking him to wear shorts while taking a bath.
The boy is not doing anything wrong - and you risk teaching him to feel bad about himself and his body, and to believe that the human body is dirty or wrong. Rather have a calm family discussion about how, as one grows more mature, as he is doing, one usually reduces one's degree of exposure to others, even within the family.
And if you continue to feel so strongly about it, consider seeing a counsellor yourself, as it soudns as though you may have very relevant issues about mother-son relationships and nudity

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: lizard | 2011/05/13

your son is acting foolish as you have told him allready not to do it and he does''nt listen, just leave the situation, the step dad knows what he''s doing, you should have installed in him at least from two years old to cover up his willie, the lines are blurred, so let the step dad handle it and back him up, because it IS very odd that your son thinks this is okay

Reply to lizard

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