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Question
Posted by: Babe | 2011/02/21

Hurt

My boyfriend of 6 years.we now have a 4month old daughter.Hed sometimes be working in ct or el.we are staying in jhb.I never thought he would cheat.but since he came back last year we have been gighting since i was few weeks pregnant.

He would get calls from difrent girls.emails and smss.He always apologise.Iforgave him soooo many times.The last time was 2weeks back.he was telling this chick he always wanted to bang her,so can he have her when he come to el soon.we still have sx on a regular basis.Hed be talking dirty with this ladies.but he doest do that with me anymore even if i initiate.

Even got to a point where one chick sent me a message on fb insulting me.Im so tired of this.But hes a good guy besides all nad my girl is so fond of him.Im so lost and hurt.i told him i am fed up.Hes acting like nothing happened.I cried and cried.but this time...i cant.i dont know if im scared of being alone or being without him.i stay alone so does he.i know some chick who used to be our friend who used to visit him read her sms one day saying ''''it was nice watching him sleep''''

im slowly letting go.hurting

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Your experience seems to support my position that "forgiving" people who are doing wrong, when they don't regret having done wrong and when they can't be bothered to stop it or to make amends, is actually a foolish thing to do, and only encourages them to carry on behaving badly.
He isn't really a good guy if he keeps on doing this - he shows you absolutely no respect or consideration by behaving in this way.
See a counselor to help you cope better and to gain the self-respect to be prepared to leave him as he seems uninterested in changing his infidelity. And make sure you go to Maintenance COurt to require him to pay maintenance for his child. Far too many women in SA are tolerating bad behaviour, enabling some men to strut around fathering children wherever they please, without paying for the consequences of their actions

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: casey | 2011/02/21

Why are still with guy that is cheating on you? You will be better off without this cheating guy.

Reply to casey
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/21

Your experience seems to support my position that "forgiving" people who are doing wrong, when they don't regret having done wrong and when they can't be bothered to stop it or to make amends, is actually a foolish thing to do, and only encourages them to carry on behaving badly.
He isn't really a good guy if he keeps on doing this - he shows you absolutely no respect or consideration by behaving in this way.
See a counselor to help you cope better and to gain the self-respect to be prepared to leave him as he seems uninterested in changing his infidelity. And make sure you go to Maintenance COurt to require him to pay maintenance for his child. Far too many women in SA are tolerating bad behaviour, enabling some men to strut around fathering children wherever they please, without paying for the consequences of their actions

Reply to cybershrink

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