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Question
Posted by: Thule | 2012/02/23

Hubby''s tentrums

When ever I have a serious agurment or fight with my hubby, he threatens me by saying he is moving out or he will say that he wants to change the locks and I can''t come in. This happened last week but now we spoke out our problems and they are sorted. But should he threaten me by saying he will take his furniture while I am gone to work and he will be gone, at some stage he packed and left, the very same night he was back. We are married in community of property, what rights do I have?, i take everything is for both of us and that can be regarded as theft. When things are normal he is fine, but when we fight, he always threatens to leave, so I told him if you want to go, be free and go in peace, enjoy your life. But he never left, he is still with me. He is some how short tempered.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Gosh ! He does sound rather immature and insecure ! Who owns the house you are livin in ? If you own it in full or in part, or share the rent, he can't of course legally keep you out of i. As for your rights, you will need to discuss this with a lawyer, and this may be a good idea, just so you fully understand your rights ( the nearest law school may have a free law clinic ). As I understand it, in community of property will limit his ability to take everything he considers his, as what was bought after the marriage might be considered to be owned jointly by both of you.
Interesting that he complains that your family controls you, when he is seeking to control you buy his threats to walk out.
If you see a lawyer, talk about a will - understand what would happen if you died without a will ( its possible everything might go to him ) and a simple will would enable you to leave something to your parents if that is what you wishes, while clarufying what will go to him, to set his mind at rest.
Keep gently persuading him that marriage counselling might help further sort out problems he may have been experiencing with you, which can surely only benefit him !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Thule | 2012/02/23

Im fully losing intrest in this man, really I am just counting months. I will rather be without him, he is just so insecure. WHen I go out with friends he gets so angry ang when he goes it must be ok. We are renting, so we were planning to buy, but I decided not to buy with him until I fully exit this marriage, he used to do is long time ago, after marriage he behaves like I am now his child.

Reply to Thule
Posted by: Zzzzz | 2012/02/23

My boyfriend is exactly like your hubby it means he will always be like this even if we are married. I guess i have to decide now if i want to spend the rest of my life with this or not.

Reply to Zzzzz
Posted by: Thule | 2012/02/23

He told me my family controls me(my mom and dad) so I must go to them. Which is not true. So i suggested marriage counselling he said no way he is going there, he think my parents thinks I am monied and if it happens that I die they will go to my house and claim things from him, so I must stay with them. When I tel him his wrongs he fumes.

Reply to Thule
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/02/23

Gosh ! He does sound rather immature and insecure ! Who owns the house you are livin in ? If you own it in full or in part, or share the rent, he can't of course legally keep you out of i. As for your rights, you will need to discuss this with a lawyer, and this may be a good idea, just so you fully understand your rights ( the nearest law school may have a free law clinic ). As I understand it, in community of property will limit his ability to take everything he considers his, as what was bought after the marriage might be considered to be owned jointly by both of you.
Interesting that he complains that your family controls you, when he is seeking to control you buy his threats to walk out.
If you see a lawyer, talk about a will - understand what would happen if you died without a will ( its possible everything might go to him ) and a simple will would enable you to leave something to your parents if that is what you wishes, while clarufying what will go to him, to set his mind at rest.
Keep gently persuading him that marriage counselling might help further sort out problems he may have been experiencing with you, which can surely only benefit him !

Reply to cybershrink

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