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Question
Posted by: Basedi | 2011/12/13

Hubby and I lives separate Lives

I am having a very upsetting marriage, my husband is always busy at work which I accepted, when he gets free time he will spend maybe and hour with me, but he can make 4 or 5 hours to spend with his friends, who at times will either pick him up from our house and go with him, or he will invite them to come and chill with them and watch soccer, they can even sit until 12h00 or 1h00 in the morining, I will seat in our bedroom since they will be male only. But he will never do that with me, its either if I am with him, we will sleep around 21h00, or he will go in and out of the house. I had been fighting with him for this for too long, now he wants us to celebrate our 2 years annivesary on saturday and I see it pointless since we living separate life and when we go to the mall he will go alone and I will go alone with my daughter. I haven''t told him that I am not going to celebrate with him this saturday, he invited family and friends and i want to drop him like a hot potato on friday, by telling him that if he wants to celebrate he can do it with his friends and people he runs around with and exclude me from that. I am very hurt by his behaviour and thinking twice about staying in this marriage.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'd like to hear from other wives who I know, experience a similar situation.
I wonder whether part of this is upbringing and family experiences. Nowadays more of us see how selfish and thoughtless it is for a man to behave in such a fashion, but when they were growing up society was even more sexist and maybe they never saw their own mother and father spend time together and enjoy being together, rather than seeing their dad spending most of his time with "the boys".
Can you perhaps persuade him to join you in marriage counselling, to see to what extent all this could be sorted out ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Basedi | 2011/12/14

That can be a better option, will try marriage counselling. Thxs.

Reply to Basedi
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/12/13

I'd like to hear from other wives who I know, experience a similar situation.
I wonder whether part of this is upbringing and family experiences. Nowadays more of us see how selfish and thoughtless it is for a man to behave in such a fashion, but when they were growing up society was even more sexist and maybe they never saw their own mother and father spend time together and enjoy being together, rather than seeing their dad spending most of his time with "the boys".
Can you perhaps persuade him to join you in marriage counselling, to see to what extent all this could be sorted out ?

Reply to cybershrink

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