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Question
Posted by: Didi | 2011-01-14

Hubby

I was forced to resign without having a job because the situation at work was intolerable, due to my resignation i was not able to pay my debts. I stayed for 10 months jobless and the job that i got now is not paying like the one i left. I applied for debt review, my problem is that my hubby know about my situation but he always rubs it on me telling me how i involved him in my debts situation, he always talks about it like it happened yesterday i try my best to be positive hoping that one day i''ll recover but with him is different. It was not my intension to be in this situation but is it healthy to always be reminded of the mistakes u have done.
It really hurts and makes me to feel hopeless

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he is maried to you, your debts are his debts anyway/ He should have been helping from the start, helping you to deal with the work problems, sharing your decision about whether to remain at work, and dealing with the debt problems. WHy are you talking about YOUR debts, rather than "our debts" ? Are these major financial debts you undertook entirely on your own and entirely for your own benefit ?
Amd yopu're right, it is entirely unhelpful for him to keep reminding you of whatever errors you made, rather than helping you to find solutions and to learn how not to repeat the same mistakes.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-01-15

If he is maried to you, your debts are his debts anyway/ He should have been helping from the start, helping you to deal with the work problems, sharing your decision about whether to remain at work, and dealing with the debt problems. WHy are you talking about YOUR debts, rather than "our debts" ? Are these major financial debts you undertook entirely on your own and entirely for your own benefit ?
Amd yopu're right, it is entirely unhelpful for him to keep reminding you of whatever errors you made, rather than helping you to find solutions and to learn how not to repeat the same mistakes.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Unique | 2011-01-14

It will get better if you are focused. You need to shield yourself from his comments. You can''t control what he says but you can control what he says but you can control what you hear. You can train your self to think ''Ag shame, he is so ignorant he doesn''t realise I need his support, I wonder how he''d feel if he found himself in need of my support''

Reply to Unique

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