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Question
Posted by: anon | 2010/10/04

hubbie fantasy

My hubbie would like to see what it feels like to give a bj, he wants the whole experience, swallowing and all. I think thats okay, as he is just curious, but would like to know the dangers.
He loves me very much and we have been married for over 20 years now, so I am not worried about his sexuality. I also dont know if I should watch or not, he would like me to. We have a guy that will help, but all waiting for my go ahead. I would also like to know if this is ever heard of from a heterosexual male. He doesnt want any other touch, just to give oral to other guy, and then he would like me to do him, if I am there, or he will do himself afterwards. He has been curious for some time, and is open and honest with me and maybe I should let him get over his curiosity,advise urgently requested, as this friend is coming to stay tomorrow night, so I need to know what to do.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

My sense is that if you are unsure, say that you are not okay with it just yet. As far as risks go - it depends what you are referring to. As far as sexually transmitted infections go, if your husband is taking semen into his mouth and swallowing, then there is a risk of infection afterwards if the other man has an STI. The only way being safe in this regard is for the man to wear a condom - but this doesn't sound like it's part of the fantasy! As far as dangers for the relationship...that's another matter entirely. Some people have the ability to tolerate this, others don't. I suggest that only you can know how you will feel about this afterwards and whether you think it will impact on you/your feelings towards him. We can try to be rational, but emotions often aren't...so unless you are sure, I'd advise caution. I am also more than a little intruiged by the fact that you know of a man who is 'will to help out' and just happens to be coming to stay tomorrow night...seems a little convenient to me!

Claire - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: MMMMMMM | 2010/11/22

SOUNDS SOOOO NICE!

Reply to MMMMMMM
Posted by: two.stone | 2010/10/08

Sorry Anon - you are right. I really hope you and Hubby find the path that works for you - I am amazed about your incredible open-mindedness and although this would not work for me, good on you for giving it a go, provided you manage to keep to your previous conditions. That will be the test, I think. Have a great weekend!

Reply to two.stone
Posted by: anon | 2010/10/08

That post was not hubbie, just some lurker with his own ideas.
We said once off, and thats okay, but please dont pretend on your posts, I am happy to discuss it, but dont need people pretending on this site, otherwise it is pointless.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Homer | 2010/10/08

And so the predicted trouble starts.....

Reply to Homer
Posted by: two.stone | 2010/10/08

You were spot-on Wako! Trouble is, they aint goin to listen....................

Reply to two.stone
Posted by: Wako | 2010/10/07

Like I said, there will be remarks and hints, which have already started. they never stop and is always ONLY ONCE. If you are really into it, fine but it takes special people to swing and stay together. Look at this and see if u want it to continue and think what happens when kids come. Will u then be able to just turn it off or will u still be willing to explore some one else''s fantasy.

Reply to Wako
Posted by: Hubbie | 2010/10/07

i meant river...

Reply to Hubbie
Posted by: hubbie | 2010/10/07

my wife surely did surprise me, she was wet as a siver, her juices sure is still flowing, i married the right woman from day one, my fantasy was more than i expected to be and how it would feel, to my wife thank you i know we''ve said only a once off, but tasting all your juices again, and see how horny you felt with the two of us, maybe a full threesome will really make you explode, we can even bring one of your friends with just as long as we keep communicating. love you like crazy.

Reply to hubbie
Posted by: Anon | 2010/10/06

It is indeed a great post, sounds like a lot of fun was had by all, very hot, would love to hear more

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Gaunat | 2010/10/06

Some more detail please, best post in months.

Reply to Gaunat
Posted by: Anonx4thisone | 2010/10/06

Got a hard on just reading that post thanks

Reply to Anonx4thisone
Posted by: Wako | 2010/10/06

It always starts like this, first it was only hubbie to do the bj, then you had to shave him, later you let friend go down on you, as I predicted, then the second session where you shared the bj. Now the friend watched u have sex to your hubbie and rest assured that he will always visualise himself in hubbies position on top of u, later there will be remarks and hints and your urges will not always be controlled. Glad u enjoyed it but refuse a next time as it won''t stop there. Have a nice day.

Reply to Wako
Posted by: anon | 2010/10/06

I think I owe it all to you to let you how the evening went, only saw the shaving warning now, but I did shave him, he was so hard during the whole process, but I held my urges, and loved it. Hubbie gave the most sensual bj, I learnt a lot, it was great, and I was turned on, a bit shy at first to use my toy, but got into it. I let the other guy go down on me, but thats all, and I had sex with hubbie afterwards while friend watched, as he was finished.
The evening went well, and hubbie has lived his fantasy, and although I battled with the concept, seeing my hubbie swalllow was exciting. We had a second round this morning, where I shared the bj with my hubbie, kissing each other in between, I took it in this time, and friend finished hubbie off, while I used my toy. All done and over, great evening, but thats that, we agreed before that it would be a once off, well twice off for us.
Thanks all

Reply to anon
Posted by: Me | 2010/10/06

Anon, so how was your evening? We hope it did not get out of hand. Is your hubbie now over his fantasy of giving a bj?

Reply to Me
Posted by: wako | 2010/10/05

It really seems that a threesome is on the cards, as the thaught of him mouthing you has already crossed your mind. Now you want to shave him before??? I would let them do their thing and stay out of it for there will be repercussions at a later stage, should this turn into an orgy. Think carefully

Reply to wako
Posted by: anon | 2010/10/05

our friend has arrived, and is having a quick shower, I have suggested me shaving his pubic hair to match mine and my husbands, once he has showered. I am sure my hubbie wont mind me shaving his friend, its all for him anyway, and he should be back pretty soon, so I better go and get finished shaving, thats all.Thanks all for listening, during my day of decisions.
Hopefully I can give good news tomorrow, still very nervous, but shaving our friend should break the ice somewhat.

Reply to anon
Posted by: two-stone | 2010/10/05

Hmmmm, me thinks you are much more excited than you are leading us to believe! (I think the " worries"  you had were a smoke screen as you wanted to ease your conscience a bit by telling us) I also think your Husband has definite gay tendancies, as does his friend. Really hope you still have him, and your marraige, after.

Reply to two-stone
Posted by: A man | 2010/10/05

Well done on purchasing a toy Anon, it is well worth it. I introduced my lady to some toys a few years ago and she has never looked back, she just loves them. The toys give her mind blowing orgasms, we use them together as part of foreplay, and she uses them alone when I am away working. It helps to find out what your body needs and responds to, so enjoy and let us know how it goes.

Reply to A man
Posted by: anon | 2010/10/05

Thanks another man, that is really reassuring, I bought a toy today, and have just finished trying it, dont know why I didnt do it years ago, so maybe this is something that I have just been closed minded to. Have to go now, going to prepare great dinner, the guys should be home by 5, and friend is faithfully married for 8 years now, and he says his wife wont mind, as long as he doesnt have intercourse, which I wouldnt do anyway, so no prob with disease, hubbie and friend have also just taken key man insurance, so this is the best time, as all have been tested. I started on this post quite negative, still very nervous, but somewhat excited. Will stay in touch

Reply to anon
Posted by: Another man | 2010/10/05

Go for it Anon. I am a normal heterosexual male and I I also had similar fantasies some years ago, it is not as uncommon as some may think. I satisfied my curiosity and it was great, but I have not had the urge to do it again since then, so maybe the same will happen with your hubby. There is nothing wrong with it, even if it turns out he is bisexual, it''s nothing to be ashamed of.

Reply to Another man
Posted by: @Anon#3 | 2010/10/05

I didn''t think of that - and what about chlamydia, syphillis, gonorreah and Herpes? Maybe this couple thinks that things like that don''t happen to friends.

Reply to @Anon#3
Posted by: Anon#3 | 2010/10/05

I hope that your "friend"  will bring the results of his latest (in the last three months) HIV test so that your swallowing hubby isn''t on ARV's in the next five years... but I guess you've already figured out that anyone willing to do this is not a virgin, right?

Reply to Anon#3
Posted by: XXX | 2010/10/05

What hetrosexual male wants to give another guy a BJ ! This guy has sexual leanings towards men,I would not allow it at all.What would he do if you said you had a fantasy to have sex with another male! Would he allow it and then still watch !

Reply to XXX
Posted by: me | 2010/10/05

you go girl! enjoy yourself

Reply to me
Posted by: anon | 2010/10/05

I was hoping to hear from someone who experienced something like this, but I have wrapped my head around this, and finally reasoned, and accepted to go ahead, I havnt informed hubbie yet, but he is expectant, but must have some doubt. I am going to suprise them both tonight, and am going to shave my pubic hair off, which hubbie has always wanted, but only had once long ago. I am also going out now to buy a vibrator, another thing I have not consented to, and am going to suprise my guy, by masurbating, and encouraging him. Will have to have a bit of wine first to relax, but the more I think of this I think it will probably be the right thing to do, its so great to be able to talk about this, as obviously I could never tell anyone. Will check in later, going shopping, and will give details tomorrow

Reply to anon
Posted by: Homer | 2010/10/05

Anon,For one I think your hubby is sick for trying this,But to all his own hey ?Secondly - I admire you for trying to help hubbie out,But I really cant see any good coming out of this.

Keep us informed what happend please.

Reply to Homer
Posted by: anon | 2010/10/05

I do not wish to have sex with the other guy, but maybe let him have oral sex with me while my husband gives him a bj, just so that I can show some sort of involvement, I think it could be weird just sitting on the edge of the bed watching my hubbie with another man. My hubbie has already fantasised about this, so I beleive to rather get it out of his system, then have him wondering. Also he will probably be put off when the guy ejaculates in his mouth, I know I enjoy bj''s, but just as forplay, because it really is not so nice when you have that explosion of cum in your mouth, which hubbie will soon realise.

Reply to anon
Posted by: @Anon | 2010/10/05

Don''t do something that will live with you and which you will regret for the rest of you life! Your so called husband is trying to turn you into a whore. Who will you share him with or who will he share you with next time around! He is a very sick person that really needs psychiatric help and if you go through with this you will be no better.

Reply to @Anon
Posted by: Woman | 2010/10/05

You always, always have the right to say no. In my opinion, if you have reservations, it will cause a break in your marriage that might be irreparable. Are you really willing to sacrifice your marriage for the sake of your husband''s fantasy? Are you willing to rebuild trust?

A few months ago, there was a lady here who had the same issue. They went through with it, but she felt jealous of her husband enjoying the experience so much. Then she slept with this " friend"  in order to make her husband jealous. Then there was huge problems in their house. Do some research on the net. Google your question, you''ll come up with loads on anecdotes of women who did this, and the aftermath.

Do your homework, if you feel 100% confident that this will bring you closer, then do it, but if you have doubts, take a rain check.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Tom | 2010/10/05

Your hubby is fcuking crazing. I am sure you will end up having sex with his friend. Are you willing to do that?

Reply to Tom
Posted by: anon | 2010/10/05

I am very nervous, maybe a bit excited, tonight is supposed to be the big night, and my hubbie was in such a good mood this morning, as he left for work a few minutes ago. I noticed he shaved his pubes all off this morning in the shower, and is obviously excited, expecting me to go through with it tonight. I have very mixed feelings, and think if its gonna happen I should probably take part, I dont know how he would take it if I got involved somehow, he wants me just to watch, but I just dont know. Has anyone ever experienced this, and how was it

Reply to anon
Posted by: anon | 2010/10/05

he is coming from Durban, and we knew the dates, that is what got hubbie talking about this, apparantly they discussed it before, but more in a joking man. Our friend has been called and confirmed that he is willing, so he probably has an expectation now. He wont have any sti as he is married, but I have not confirmed yet, although I think hubbie is quite positive. It is very convenient, I hope not deliberately set up, as this would mean that they have discussed this seriously without me. Still not sure how this could affect me, still wrestling with why a straight man would fantasise about another mans penis in his mouth

Reply to anon
Posted by: Sexologist | 2010/10/04

My sense is that if you are unsure, say that you are not okay with it just yet. As far as risks go - it depends what you are referring to. As far as sexually transmitted infections go, if your husband is taking semen into his mouth and swallowing, then there is a risk of infection afterwards if the other man has an STI. The only way being safe in this regard is for the man to wear a condom - but this doesn't sound like it's part of the fantasy! As far as dangers for the relationship...that's another matter entirely. Some people have the ability to tolerate this, others don't. I suggest that only you can know how you will feel about this afterwards and whether you think it will impact on you/your feelings towards him. We can try to be rational, but emotions often aren't...so unless you are sure, I'd advise caution. I am also more than a little intruiged by the fact that you know of a man who is 'will to help out' and just happens to be coming to stay tomorrow night...seems a little convenient to me!

Claire - SASHA

Reply to Sexologist

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