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Question
Posted by: Bloody irritated | 2009-03-02

How would YOU handle this parasite doc?

Dear Doc,

My man have had a female friend (his brother' s ex) for +- 10yrs now and this woman is nothing but a parasite. She had a big inheritance a couple of years ago, squandered it on drugs and partying and lost it all. She never keeps a job, has 3 kids from 3 different men and she contacts my man whenever she' s in financial trouble and he doesn' t know how to say no to her!

I' ve threatened to leave him already if it doesn' t end but nothing helps. This wkend this woman phoned and I told her we don' t have money for her and she ended the call. An hr later she turned up there personally and my man rushed out to meet her at the gate!

When he came back I told him I' m sick of it and then he told me he' s sick of ME being sick of it! I told him that she doesn' t add anything to his life, but only takes and takes and plays on his feelings to get her way and then he shouted at me to leave him alone.

I' m at the point where I' m ready to leave him because of this, but we have a child together and financially I can' t just up and leave on my own.

Please tell me what you would have done and what your opinion is? I can' t understand why she has such a hold over him.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I've heard that there are various spray cans which are effective in getting rid of parasites. Appaently your threat to leave isn't taken seriously by your husband, because apparenrtly you don't actually leave. Can't you discuss this with his family and your own ? Funding a drug addict, etc, is not a respectable hobby for a married man.
If you leave, you could go to the Maintenance COurt and have it require him to pay maintenane for the child --- but again, why not get your family's involved ? ANd what does his brother think about this ?

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Bloody irritated | 2009-03-03

Hi Zap the bug. (You' re very funny - I had a good laugh!)

On a serious note, my man does tell this woman he has no money, but she doesn' t give up until he gives in. I told him he' s going to have to be blunt or rude to get the message accross to this crocodile, but for some strange reason he can' t do so.

Do you personally think there' s something on the go that I don' t know about? I' ve thought of it before, because years ago he did have a huge crush on her but I also know that everyone takes advantage of his good nature.

Reply to Bloody irritated
Posted by: Zap the bug ! | 2009-03-02

And then zap her !! No seriously, your hubby has it all wrong. There is no way he can put her before you, unless there is something on the go that you don' t know about. Its all a question of choices and consequences. He has to make a choice or live with the consequences of you taking a hike. Don' t worry your pretty little head about finance. A smart lawyer will sort that out for you. Don' t put up with it any longer, lay your cards on the table, decision time, choices and consequences. There is no grey area, no middle of the road, no compromises, no big discussion. He must decide or you will. Go for it.!

Reply to Zap the bug !

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