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Question
Posted by: frustrated | 2009/10/28

how will i make this work

im 37 year old female married to my childhood frien whom i knew friom the age of 5 married now for 18 years, 3 kids and it was a great marriage or so i thought,

he is 8years older than me and whilst im an outgoing person needing friends and ppl around me he will be very happy just on his own working in the garden or what ever we dont share any hobbies or interest at all my kids asked me if he actually loves them because he always looks sad or down if i ask him about it he just answer he is not a talker and likes the way he is

we dint have much friends because he will always analise stuff into detail and if he is in no mood for ppl he will try to smile but any one can see its forced. if i or me and the children do something together and have fun after we asked him to join he would go and sit sumwhere on his own and will answer my question to why he is there with you getting along great with out me. but he is a christian if we dont go to church he will put the service on the radio loud so every one has to listen to it

i dont want to go to a church function this weekend big screen rugby he atually demanded i must go in front of my friends today
when i told him why did he do that he said coz he always do what ever i ask him

i cant live like this anymore its making me depressed !!!

he is a manager at his workplace and i feel like an employee he shows that he loves me but i cant love him back becos so much is happening between us i dont deel love towards hil any more (i miss him when he is not around but as soon as he walks in im frustrated!!)

HELP


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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I hear what you're sayin about the differences in your personalities and styles, but apparently this is how he was, presumably since you first knew him as a child, rather than something new that has just recently arisen. What seems to have chenged is, rather, your tolerance of these differences.
Let's see what other readers might suggest, but wouldn't it be a good idea to see a marriage counsellor together, to see what you could work out, together, to find plans that are more satisfying to BOTH of you ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/10/29

I hear what you're sayin about the differences in your personalities and styles, but apparently this is how he was, presumably since you first knew him as a child, rather than something new that has just recently arisen. What seems to have chenged is, rather, your tolerance of these differences.
Let's see what other readers might suggest, but wouldn't it be a good idea to see a marriage counsellor together, to see what you could work out, together, to find plans that are more satisfying to BOTH of you ?

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