Our expert says:
Rick's and Phil's answers are good. It is important for us to learn from the past what will not be fruitful to repeat, but not to live in the past, basted by regrets, to an extent that makes it too hard to livve in the present and plan for the future.
You know well what will not be worth repeating. Let go o the ex - he is no longer relevant to your life, and dwelling on him ( yes he treated you shabilly, but continuing to brood about that gives him continued power over you and your well-being that you no longer deserve.
There is already much that is good which you provide for your child, and more which you will gradually be able to provide - children don't need perfection. An old friend of mine wrote many years back of the "good-enough mother", which is what we need, rather than a saintly and inlikely perfectionist who is reluctant to provide less than everything possible. You already give the child much more than you realize or appreciate.
Look for small opportunities for incremental improvements, each a progress, hiowever small in itself, towards a better situation. Look for and accept support - within the family, pwerhaps from friends, seek a counsellor, and consider groups like SADAG for support from people who have experienced similar situations.
You and your child both deserve the much better future you can build, and which you will build, if you allow yourself to do so.
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