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Question
Posted by: kk | 2012/07/31

How to move on when I am so hurt

HIi CS

I recently found out i m pregnant and my partner wasn''t happy i about the news. i am 16 weeks preggies now

Then a month after endless arguments with him found him in bed with another woman, Doc i had the the shock of my life. The woman is his co- worker. After finding out about them, they had free pass to have an open relationship without hiding, The was happy that found out. they made it public.

What hurts most is everyone in our area found out about the indecent including his workplace and on top of that he blamed me for ruining his reputation. God i hate the day i met that man, because he brought so much pain and shame in my life.

Their relationship its not important but i m so hurt CS, I''ve been crying for month since i found out and the pain is so intense.
I have never been so torn in my life, it could''ve been easier if i wasn''t pregnant. How do I move on and forget that this man ever existed in my life

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its a pity, isn't it, when, as is so often the case, a couple embarks on such significant developments in life without really having genuinely discussed it beforehand, or just assuming they each know what the other would want. Making a baby requires both of you to have participated, and unless due to an unforeseen failure of contraception, if contraception was not being used, a pregnancy was to be expected for BOTH of you.
Was he taken entirely by surprise ? And then for him to plunge into bed with another women so soon afterwards, sugests he takes sex and its consequences rather frivolously. And are you saying that he was happy for the community to know he was having this other affair, but considered that YOU ruined his reputation ? How ? By falling pregnant ? What "reputation" did he have ? Was he admited for being sterile ?
anyhow, in a way you may be more likely to "move on" if, rather than concentrating on "forgetting" him ( which entails thinking about him to try to deliberately forget him ) you instead concentrated on other things such as your own needs, and the baby.
Counselling could help, such as by clarifying the nature of your profound sense of hurt, and how to move beyond that.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/07/31

Its a pity, isn't it, when, as is so often the case, a couple embarks on such significant developments in life without really having genuinely discussed it beforehand, or just assuming they each know what the other would want. Making a baby requires both of you to have participated, and unless due to an unforeseen failure of contraception, if contraception was not being used, a pregnancy was to be expected for BOTH of you.
Was he taken entirely by surprise ? And then for him to plunge into bed with another women so soon afterwards, sugests he takes sex and its consequences rather frivolously. And are you saying that he was happy for the community to know he was having this other affair, but considered that YOU ruined his reputation ? How ? By falling pregnant ? What "reputation" did he have ? Was he admited for being sterile ?
anyhow, in a way you may be more likely to "move on" if, rather than concentrating on "forgetting" him ( which entails thinking about him to try to deliberately forget him ) you instead concentrated on other things such as your own needs, and the baby.
Counselling could help, such as by clarifying the nature of your profound sense of hurt, and how to move beyond that.

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