Our expert says:
A counsellor can fruitfully work with you on such issues. You love yourself because you deserve to be loved, and beacuse you are truly loveabl --- and that has nothing whatever to do with how some other people feel about you or anything they may say about you. Why are they supposed to be your friends ? That's not compulsory. And if you freed yourself from their influence, you would probably eventually find true friends. Family can be a source of love or grief, but again, they are not in charge of deciding whether to allow you to like yourself or be happy.
When the other people say nasty things to you and about you, that tells us a great deal about them, and very little if anything about you. It's like when I walk down the streets near here --- at some houses, heir guard dogs, apparently not used to pedestrians, leap up and bark loudly at me. I'm sure that whatever they're saying in Dog isnt very nice. But it's about them, how they feel, and how they interpret their role in protecting their house, as well as misunderstanding the purpose and significance of my walking past. I don't take it as an insult, or feel bad about it -- I largely ignore it. They're dogs. They bark. That's of no significance to me and the splendid person I am
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