Posted by: Julie | 2009-03-04

How to love yourself???

How do you love yourself when no one else does? How do learn to accept your flaws and faults if people that are supposed to be your friends and family can’ t? How can you be at peace with yourself knowing that people think so little of you? There are a million questions- how do you reach the answer and finally start to love yourself DESPITE what others do/say to you?

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Our expert says:
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A counsellor can fruitfully work with you on such issues. You love yourself because you deserve to be loved, and beacuse you are truly loveabl --- and that has nothing whatever to do with how some other people feel about you or anything they may say about you. Why are they supposed to be your friends ? That's not compulsory. And if you freed yourself from their influence, you would probably eventually find true friends. Family can be a source of love or grief, but again, they are not in charge of deciding whether to allow you to like yourself or be happy.
When the other people say nasty things to you and about you, that tells us a great deal about them, and very little if anything about you. It's like when I walk down the streets near here --- at some houses, heir guard dogs, apparently not used to pedestrians, leap up and bark loudly at me. I'm sure that whatever they're saying in Dog isnt very nice. But it's about them, how they feel, and how they interpret their role in protecting their house, as well as misunderstanding the purpose and significance of my walking past. I don't take it as an insult, or feel bad about it -- I largely ignore it. They're dogs. They bark. That's of no significance to me and the splendid person I am

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Our users say:
Posted by: Trish | 2009-03-04

Julie, just to let you know there are many of us out here who feel exactly the way you do. Even when I tried to ignore what ppl say and think of me, I looked in the mirror and was unable to tell myself I love myself. I do know that God loves me but this somehow is not helping me love myself. I wish something big would happen in my life which would make me very loveable, I don' t know what bigthing but I need my life to change in a million ways. I went for counselling and I just sat there looking at the counsellor, looking at her glorious smile, looking around at her exquisite home..and I left there feeling ten times worse. I will keep going for counselling but I just feel rotten that I have so little to offer anyone and nothing to offer myself. I have a loving family - but family love you because they are supposed to.

I just don' t know. I am hoping and wishing and pleading with God to show me exactly what I am here for. I want to know the point of it all is. I sometimes walk around feeling no one can even see me, much less love me. I want to know what the point of being alive is. I am tired of living.

Reply to Trish
Posted by: Really | 2009-03-04

I totally agree with CS, you have to love yourself for others to love you... and do not let other people' s assumptions of what they think you are or what you ought to be to dictate the person that you really are.

Not sure if you believe in God, but whoever put you here, put you here for a very good reason. YOUR purpose is still to be realised, that' s why you are who you are and is still here.

Forget those that seems not to care or love you, and focus on what makes you happy and glad. Don' t depend on the next person to make you happy, people and situations can let you down at any given time. Love yourself first and all others will be added unto your happiness.

Keep smilling :-)


Reply to Really
Posted by: whysonasty | 2009-03-04

Julie look in the mirror and say out loud "  God loves me" 

Now if God loves you (the same guy who made everything that exists including existance itself) he can help you love yourself :)

Reply to whysonasty

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