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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010/05/07

How to let go of a friendship

My friend and I have had the best friendship, people even suspected that we were in a relationship but nothing has happened. We realised that if we had to cross the line it would end in heartbreak and we dont want that to happen. Now he has met a new girl who appears to be dictating to him, he is happy with her and i am happy for him but I can see that she may have ulterior motives which I pointed out. In turn this has distanced us from each other and the friendship is now very tense. I dont want him to give up on love but I really cant tell him how to live his life. I miss him because we used to talk everyday and we used to see each other regularly even when the new woman came onto the scene. I know mow that I have to let go because he wants to be with her, but how do I do it. Yesterday I heard something and it felt bad that I couldnt talk to him about it. I feel that I have become to dependant on our friendship and need to let him go. Please assist/

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Maybe you're right in your suspicions about the new girl, but telling him about this could well feel to him as a criticism of his judgement and sense. Yes, you can't tell him how to live his life - and he may not welcome advice he hasn't asked for ( just as you might not welcome it, either ).Yes it does sound as though you may have become too dependent on him - and too exclusive. Work on developing other friendships, not romantic affairs but pals and friends

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/07

Maybe you're right in your suspicions about the new girl, but telling him about this could well feel to him as a criticism of his judgement and sense. Yes, you can't tell him how to live his life - and he may not welcome advice he hasn't asked for ( just as you might not welcome it, either ).Yes it does sound as though you may have become too dependent on him - and too exclusive. Work on developing other friendships, not romantic affairs but pals and friends

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