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Question
Posted by: Xoxie | 2011-06-24

How to leave someone alone

Dear Expert
I was in a relationship with a man whom I loved a huge amount. Then he told me he wants to move on and be friends only, but I am struggling to accept it. For more than a year I have been pestering him with phone calls and many sms''s and emails daily. I am currently with the best guy ever and wish I could just move on and enjoy my new life! But somehow I can''t let go of my ex. If I was him I would have gotten a restraining order against me a long time ago.
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Please help! (Money for councelling is non-existant :-( )

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageBehaviour modification

If your new boyfriend is "the best guy ever" why are you still hanging on to the past? Or were you simply infatuated with the idea of your ex and can't come to terms with rejection?
Often we can't let someone go if they made us feel particularly good about ourselves. Or if our vision of a future with that person was too enticing to walk away from.
Pestering someone is no way to get them back if that is what you are trying to do, in fact you will only push them further away. Rejection is not easy to cope with, however you need to find your dignity somewhere in this situation and put your energy into what is good in your life and the relationship you now have.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Behaviour modification | 2011-06-30

If your new boyfriend is "the best guy ever" why are you still hanging on to the past? Or were you simply infatuated with the idea of your ex and can't come to terms with rejection?
Often we can't let someone go if they made us feel particularly good about ourselves. Or if our vision of a future with that person was too enticing to walk away from.
Pestering someone is no way to get them back if that is what you are trying to do, in fact you will only push them further away. Rejection is not easy to cope with, however you need to find your dignity somewhere in this situation and put your energy into what is good in your life and the relationship you now have.

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