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Question
Posted by: Anri | 2012/01/20

how to heal/ how to forgive

Dear prof Simpson

Can you tell me what is the best therapy for a woman that was raped by more than one person?
How do you forgive and forget?
How do you take up the pieces and go on in your personal and work life.

I am posting on behalf of my friend.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I don't think you ( or anyone else ) have any duty or even need to "forgive" the rapists, much as some idiots would insist that you must. The sort of forgiveness that you need to seek, with the help of a counsellor, is to free yourself from being tied by bonds of bitterness to those rats. You don't "forget" that the awful things ever happened, but detoxify the memories, so that they don't dominate or continue to cause damage, but take their place among all the other things that have happened in your life.
Counsellors with experience in helping people deal with trauma can help one move on with life, and to find new joy in it, without allowing the rats to continue to do any harm at all.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/01/20

I don't think you ( or anyone else ) have any duty or even need to "forgive" the rapists, much as some idiots would insist that you must. The sort of forgiveness that you need to seek, with the help of a counsellor, is to free yourself from being tied by bonds of bitterness to those rats. You don't "forget" that the awful things ever happened, but detoxify the memories, so that they don't dominate or continue to cause damage, but take their place among all the other things that have happened in your life.
Counsellors with experience in helping people deal with trauma can help one move on with life, and to find new joy in it, without allowing the rats to continue to do any harm at all.

Reply to cybershrink

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