Our expert says:
It doesnt matter what your extended family think, if they are stupid enough to believe your loser parents --- truly toxic poor excuses for humanity. Ys, cut them out of your life totally. Tell them finally that they have caused you nothing but misery and that they don't deserve anything at all from you, ever again, and shoul leave you alone. Maybe a counsellor could help you to find the strength and skill to keep to this sensible decision.
People like the parents you describe NEVER change ; sometimes, for their own benefit, they might try to preted they hav changed, but should not be believed.
Your mom's suddent pretense of love for you when it suited her, reminds me of an old song, recorded by Fred Astaire, which was supposed to have the longest titke ever : "How could you believe me when I said I loved you, when you know I've been a liar all my life ?"
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