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Question
Posted by: keketso | 2010-01-21

how to handle the child with limitations

my aunt is a teacher in free state and her 6 yr old son is attending special school in the city (gauteng) becos he cant speak. aunt arrange with me that I need to collect the child on fridays because its a boarding school. and its convienient since i live in the same city.

now, i am not sure how to handle this matter since the child will be spending weekends with me. he is unfriendly and if you do not understand him he scatches you or become violent. aunt said the shrink said we may not communicate in sign language with the child but now how do i communicate then?

i have a 7 year old son as well but he can speak. and the 2 kids get along well.

the special school is 15 km from my house but aunt agreed to compensate for petrol. if i have to go out on saturdays, i have arranged with helper to babysit child and aunt is ok to pay.

i wanna suggest to aunt that in the long run she and hubby needs to find jobs here and relocate so that they are closer to their son. is this a bad idea?

although, i agreed to help but this a huge responsibility and im a single mom of one kid and travels 13kms to work daily and prefer to rest on weekends.

aunt has helped a lot in the past and i think its fair for me to help where I can too. she promised visit his son every monthend.

please let me know your thoughts

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like the shrink is being a bit unrealistic - until the child CAN communicate verbally, you will need to use some sort of sign language - or how else are you to communicate with him ? I can understand that if they are setting up a system at the school to strongly encourage him to speak / to understand spoken words, and think he can do so, they would want him to need to concentrate on that and not prefer signs which he may find easier, though relying on them will handicap him in the long run.
Maybe you can arrange to meet the shrink or someone similar at the school, as they, having assessed the boy well, should be able to advise you on how to handle him when he is with you.
Your son, who gets on well with the kid, may be important and useful in helping.
It is fair and good of you to help your aunt in this way. The idea that she should thinkm of relocating to Gauteng could be a good one - again, worth discussing with the school, as this depends on how long he will be there, and what his real outlook is for the future.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: keketso | 2010-01-21

thanks doctor. i will speak to his class teacher. he started school this year and im assuming that he will be attending until such time when he is ready to proceed to high school.

as for the mother relocating, its a good option if she gets a transfer.

Reply to keketso
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-01-21

Sounds like the shrink is being a bit unrealistic - until the child CAN communicate verbally, you will need to use some sort of sign language - or how else are you to communicate with him ? I can understand that if they are setting up a system at the school to strongly encourage him to speak / to understand spoken words, and think he can do so, they would want him to need to concentrate on that and not prefer signs which he may find easier, though relying on them will handicap him in the long run.
Maybe you can arrange to meet the shrink or someone similar at the school, as they, having assessed the boy well, should be able to advise you on how to handle him when he is with you.
Your son, who gets on well with the kid, may be important and useful in helping.
It is fair and good of you to help your aunt in this way. The idea that she should thinkm of relocating to Gauteng could be a good one - again, worth discussing with the school, as this depends on how long he will be there, and what his real outlook is for the future.

Reply to cybershrink

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