advertisement
Question
Posted by: dolla | 2009/12/14

HOW TO HANDLE SOMEONE WITH DEPRESSION

My ex (we broke up 2 years ago after staying together for 8 years , after divorcing him 25years ago after a mariage of 7 years because of his drinking) . He is/was involved with a lady - they broke up apprx 3 weeks ago AGAIN as they are forever having problems (he mentioned the other day that in the past 24 month she moved out more than 24 times!!!)- always blaming everybody else for their breakups. We do not have contact when they are " happy"  but as soon as the fighting starts he will contact me. According to him he does not have anyone else who he can talk to when he is unhappy. He also drinks heavily when this happens.
Presently he is suicidal phoning me to tell me he had enough and it only a matter of time before he will leave us so that we can all carry on with our lives and dont have to worry about him .....
This is driving me over the edge. ( In 1985 he was injured/burned badly when he also tried to commit suicide - when he is under the influance he acknowlege that he had taken tablets and also tried to hang himself in the past few weeks. He doest want to go for proffesional help and Lifeline and the dr' s says he must come out of his own. He will yell at me if i dont want to do something, like bringing him more alcohol etc. Yesterday he asked me to bring him some food - and when i got there he told me to please go home and leave him alone. I asked him if he doest want the food he said YES PLEASE - he havent eaten since saterday.- he actually forgot that he asked me to bing hom something to eat.!!!
I dont know how to handle him - must i shout back at him, must i keep quiet, must i not answer the phone, what will be the best. Today my heart is breaking for him and tomorrow i just want to hit him with something over the head and drag him to a clinic the next day i promise myself i will not anser the phone because he yelled at me etc etc. His family is not interested ....

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberDoc

Hallo Dolla
I think you should answer the phone as talking to someone may reduce the anxiety he feels and prevent irresponsible behaviour. However, you should be calm and firm and tell him that you are willing to help him, only if he listens to your advice and get help. You should not allow him to manipulate you.
Dr Bets

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2009/12/14

Maybe also discuss with Cybershrink?

Reply to anon
Posted by: cyberdoc | 2009/12/14

Hallo Dolla
I think you should answer the phone as talking to someone may reduce the anxiety he feels and prevent irresponsible behaviour. However, you should be calm and firm and tell him that you are willing to help him, only if he listens to your advice and get help. You should not allow him to manipulate you.
Dr Bets

Reply to cyberdoc

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement