Posted by: friend | 2009-10-18

how to find help

I really am wriiting for a friend who is in a bit of a difficult marriage in that she loves her husband but has no physical attraction to him and as a result, has no desire to have sex with him. the issue is that she wants kids and is nearing menopause.
she lives in JHB area.
How can she find someone to speak to? I suggested they go for counselling but want to give her phone numbers of people she can talk to.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageAgeing and Sexuality expert

I wonder how your friend has managed this situation up until now..? Nearing menopause and wanting a child? If she is this age- near 50 years - having a child for the first time carries risks.. is she aware of this??
I suggest ,as you have , that she go for counselling. Call an organisation called South African Association of Social Workers in Private Practice(SAASWP). Their head office is in JHB and they will refer her to appropriate person close by where your friend lives.
And truth is that unfortunately there is no drug nor therapy that can get a person to find someone sexually attractive - love goes a long way in enabling people to live together and even having sex - but over time it may not be sustainable . Or perhaps she now wants to feel the lust she never has with her husband. Encourage her to call SAASWP.

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