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Question
Posted by: Minx | 2010/11/20

How to decrease female libido??

For some weird reason I seem to fall for men who aren''t that much into sex as I am. My husband wasn''t interested in sex with me, and now it seems my new boyfriend is going to turn out to be the same. I''m not a sex freak, but once or twice a week isn''t too much to ask for, is it?
I love kissing and cuddling and touching and being touched - but only by the person I love. I would never cheat. I went through a marriage of 8 years not feeling sexually satisfied, and now, 4 months into my new relationship it seems evident that my boyfriend might follow the same route my husband had. At the beginning of our relationship he couldn''t keep his hands off me, but now he seems to have cooled off physically.
Masturbation isn''t really for me... I don''t want a vibrator, I want to make love with the person I love. I want to feel wanted!
My boyfriend is wonderful in every way... except for the fact that he thinks I''m making too much fuss about the sexual aspect of our relationship. I''m 34 years old, I''m not overweight and described by my friends as supposedly kind of attractive.
But obviously there has to be something wrong with me. Maybe I''m boring in bed, I don''t know. My husband was my first lover... could I be in serious need of some sex education on how to satisfy a lover?
I need something to decrease my libido - leaving my boyfriend is not an option. This whole issue is making me depressed and I feel I''m not desirable. But II need to make this sacrifice.
What can I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

A discrepancy in sexual desire is nor uncommon ins relationships. It is however important to find a balance between the two parties’ needs rather than one to completely downplay your own needs. The fact that you have been in a relationship where your needs were not met and you are once again is a relationship where you are heading the same way – it might be worth it for you to seek professional advise and guidance. Getting the two of you to understand one another’s needs and finding ways to accommodate one another is crucial for the positive outcome of a long term relationship. Making sacrifices on the short term often does not seem so hard but in the long run it creates the breeding ground for resentment. Sex is not the be all and end all, but it is an important factor – the cement of an intimate relationship and without that the bricks tend to be just stacked with nothing to weather the storms.
You are welcome to phone our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted in finding a practitioner as close as possible to you.
Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.co.za

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: XXX | 2010/11/23

The ideal situation is to find someone with a similar sex urge as yourself.This is obviously not always possible.
Life is strange as I have always been used to sex around 6 times a week but after a divorce (for other reasons) and a few other relationships I have met a woman I truly love BUT she rarely ever wants sex.This has put a HUGE strain on our relationship.
Never forget,when your sex is good with your partner it hardly plays a role,however,when it is bad it plays a MAJOR role!
One can only try and experiment with toys/lubes/different positions etc etc.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: sexologist | 2010/11/21

A discrepancy in sexual desire is nor uncommon ins relationships. It is however important to find a balance between the two parties’ needs rather than one to completely downplay your own needs. The fact that you have been in a relationship where your needs were not met and you are once again is a relationship where you are heading the same way – it might be worth it for you to seek professional advise and guidance. Getting the two of you to understand one another’s needs and finding ways to accommodate one another is crucial for the positive outcome of a long term relationship. Making sacrifices on the short term often does not seem so hard but in the long run it creates the breeding ground for resentment. Sex is not the be all and end all, but it is an important factor – the cement of an intimate relationship and without that the bricks tend to be just stacked with nothing to weather the storms.
You are welcome to phone our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted in finding a practitioner as close as possible to you.
Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.co.za

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: sexologist | 2010/11/21

A discrepancy in sexual desire is nor uncommon ins relationships. It is however important to find a balance between the two parties’ needs rather than one to completely downplay your own needs. The fact that you have been in a relationship where your needs were not met and you are once again is a relationship where you are heading the same way – it might be worth it for you to seek professional advise and guidance. Getting the two of you to understand one another’s needs and finding ways to accommodate one another is crucial for the positive outcome of a long term relationship. Making sacrifices on the short term often does not seem so hard but in the long run it creates the breeding ground for resentment. Sex is not the be all and end all, but it is an important factor – the cement of an intimate relationship and without that the bricks tend to be just stacked with nothing to weather the storms.
You are welcome to phone our helpline – 0860100262 where you could be assisted in finding a practitioner as close as possible to you.
Furthermore you are welcome to visit the following website for any more sexual health information and assignments that could be helpful: www.sexualhealth.co.za

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: Waco | 2010/11/20

MInx, decreasing your libido is not an option. Maybe it is not you that needs to be educated, but your bf. Too often the male ego does not allow any man to admit that he does not know everything about sex and the the wife or gf spends her time wondering what she is doing wrong. There are so many places where you can learn about sex,( take your bf along, it is for him as well ) and you can have a life full of beautiful experiences and complete sexual satisfaction, always. Be it three, five or even eight times a week. Once he knows what to do, he will benefit just as much as you, if not more and may even thank you for dragging him along. Good luck.

Reply to Waco

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