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Question
Posted by: zowi | 2009/10/12

How to deal with jealous partner

Hi there !
I' ve been with my BF for four years now and we have a five months baby boy but we are not staying together.The thing he' s been calling me to come over at his place for the past 2days but he calls when its late for me to take the baby and go to his place.
Sunday morning I was going to church so I organise a lift with a guy from church since it was raining who is also my cousin' s BF so we saw him and we try to stop but the place was not right for us to just stop so I decided to give him a call he was not happy at all when he picked up the phone and then he asked where I was and I told him that I am in the car that just passed him and I' m on my way to church as I told him that I was going to go to church then come back to his place. He was just quiet,not saying anything so I put the phone down.When I reached church I called him but he was not picking,after church he was not picking as well and he dicided to put his phone off.
I dicided to go over to his place but i left the baby behind because I donr want my baby to here us shouting at each other when I went there he did' nt even want to open the door for me I had to call him loud and when he opened he was not interested on saying just one word with me he just covered his face with blankets.I just spent few minutes and dicided to leave.He didnt call Or say anything till now.I sent him an sms and he said now he is convinced that it was my BF.
He has never been like this before and I have never cheated on him before even though he did and I forgave him because I love him.
Is there anything I can do to fix this.Please advise me .

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

You haven't broken anything so there is little you can fix. This sounds like this is his issue and only he can really make the difference. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with him about how you are feeling/what you want/etc - do this by letter if he won't take your calls; then you have to wait to see how he responds. He is sounding a little self-centred...it may be he has some growing up to do and the threat he perceives now may do him some good (as long as you are not too apologetic).

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Rob | 2009/10/12

Amy, your experiences don' t necessarily mean will help others. You b/f didn' t change but that only applied to you and him. Sister first of all you don' t expect a man / woman to see you in another man/woman' s car and be okay with it. you were not cheating but he has no info about what happened and you were not willing to explain and it seems as if this is about you and only you. Yes he is acting like a child but its also your duty to assure him that he' s over reacting a bit. Sometimes people excpect their partner not to run around with other people but they do it with flying colours. Go to him and clear the grounds sister, it good sometimes to see that your man gets jealous, it shows that he cares as long as the jealousy is not nasty.

Reply to Rob
Posted by: Amy | 2009/10/12

Hi there Zowi,

I think this question may be better answered in the CyberShrink forum... Best of Luck

....but if I may add something. I am not sure if a jealous partner will ever change. I had a bf for 6 years who was a jealous guy. From day one till the bitter end, he' s jealousy did not subside!

Reply to Amy
Posted by: Sexologist | 2009/10/12

You haven't broken anything so there is little you can fix. This sounds like this is his issue and only he can really make the difference. The best thing you can do is try to communicate with him about how you are feeling/what you want/etc - do this by letter if he won't take your calls; then you have to wait to see how he responds. He is sounding a little self-centred...it may be he has some growing up to do and the threat he perceives now may do him some good (as long as you are not too apologetic).

Reply to Sexologist

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