Our expert says:
One topic you may find useful to read up about online, is the concept of Learned Helplessness, which Martin Seligman wrote about. He pointed out that in all species he looked at, after experiencing situations in which we were for whatever reason powerless to change a nasty situation, creatures tend to Give Up, and then even in situations where there's an obvious way to escape or improve the situation, we fail to even seriously try to do so.
And habitual negative thinking may be one way this is seen. And CBT is the best established form of counselling / psychotherapy for learning to change unhelpful habits of negative thought and deed.
When one is having extreme difficulty in achieving one thing one has focussed on as highly important to you ( especially when this is high-lighted by others apparently having no problem in doing so )one may come not only to feel devastated by this specific issue, but discouraged from devoting oneself to alternative foci for gratification which one could indeed achieve.
Elements of anxiety and depression are common in such situations. And even aspects of a false pregnancy, when one experiences symptoms and even signs suggesting pregnancy, when one is not pregnant ( even Queen Anne of England suffered this ).
There's also ( not uncommon ) a phobic aspect to the anxiety you describe, where, having experienced unpleasant symptoms in particular situations, one comes to feel anxious before such situations arise, anticipating that the symptoms even might arise, making a potential vicious cycle of symp[toms, expectations, and anxiety.
Again,Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy is the current best available method by which a psychologist can help you unlearn these non-functional and uncomfortable habits, and regain confidence and positivity.
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