Our expert says:
YOur friend, it seems, is foolish and uninterested in other people's feelings. If he is still having unprotected sex, and with people he doesn't really know, he's not bothered about his own halth and safety, nor that of others. And its hard to believe he was using a condom which broke when he impregnated the other woman, but later he didn't use a condom at all.
So now he has carelessly impregnated two foolish women who were silly enough to trust him, while cheating on his girlfriend who is just very lucky if she isn't also pregnant. But he has apparently also been lying to her - does he really think she will never find out about his other hobbies ?
I hope both these women go to the Maintenance Court and have him ordered to pay generous maintenance costs for both children, so he can be reminded, every month when he receives his pay check, of what it costs to be irresponsible.
There's no room for sympathy for someone who is so utterly careless and foolish and seems to think of nothing but his own brief pleasure.
How could you believe him when he claims to "love" the gf he has cheerfully betrayed so completely ? What sort of love is that ?
Paying maintenance for two kids already, how can he afford to contonue a relationship with her, let alone to maintain any kids he might later have with this unfortunate woman ?
And don't make excuses for him. We do NOT "all" have skeletons in our closets like he has, nor do we work so hard to make new skeletons.
And where does this idea come from that "we must not judge people " ? Its really not in the bible or the constitution, that we must never criticise or frown on people who deliberately or carelessly do bad things to other people.
We do NOT all mess up in our lives on this scale. And allowing him to continue to imagine that its him who has been unfortunate, and that he's a poor guy who just had some bad luck, only encolurages him to carry on and hurt other people. And remember the two entirely innocent children about to be brought into the world to face an uncertain future, because he wanted some fun.
ALl you can do as a friend is NOT to make false excuses for him like "we all make mistakes" - encourage him not to avoid his responsibilities or to run away from them, but to think seriously about what he has done, how to reduce the damages he has caused to others, and how to avoid doing so again in the future. He must decide what to do, as you can't decide for him, but please don't help him find excuses to avoid responsibility for the bad choices he so far keeps on making
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