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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010/10/05

How soon

My bf and I have been dating for a month now. He has invited me to some of his cousins and he knows my friends. He has told me that his family wants to meet me and that his aunt has invited us for supper. I keep on declining the offer, as I feel its too soon. Is there a time stipulation in terms of how long you should know someone before you meet the family? He always tells me that he doesnt see why he should keep me a secret from anyone because he believes he has found the woman of his dreams. When he talks about the future he includes me in all his dreams etc. I really do like and dont want to create problems.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, it probably is "too soon" for a major formal "This is my wife to be" meeting, but is that really what he is proposing ? Maybe he just wants you to see what his family is like, and vice versa. But talk with him about your very valid concern that it's too early for a "woman of my dreams" viewpoint, or the suggestion that you will be a permanent part of his future. Explain, that you prefer to take all this much more gradually, and feel uneasy that he seems to be rushing ahead rather too much

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Bee | 2010/10/05

The sooner the better!!!! Just beacuse you meet them does not mean you have to marry him!

Reply to Bee
Posted by: qwerty | 2010/10/05

Why does it need to be such a momentous occasion to " Meet The Family" ? Surely you can just meet them with no strings attached? If there is some hidden implication in your meeting them, then yes, you should wait until you feel ready, but if it''s just a case of you meeting them, then do so by all means!
Just relax and be yourself.

Good luck! :)

Reply to qwerty
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/10/05

Well, it probably is "too soon" for a major formal "This is my wife to be" meeting, but is that really what he is proposing ? Maybe he just wants you to see what his family is like, and vice versa. But talk with him about your very valid concern that it's too early for a "woman of my dreams" viewpoint, or the suggestion that you will be a permanent part of his future. Explain, that you prefer to take all this much more gradually, and feel uneasy that he seems to be rushing ahead rather too much

Reply to cybershrink

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