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Question
Posted by: Joe | 2011/03/30

How should a first date go?

Hey All,

Can someone please enlighten me as to how a first date should go? I''ve become disillusioned by it all.

I''m struggling to figure out what i''m doing wrong. I spoke to a friend-girl of mine about a date that I went on - I asked her what would put her off on a first date, she mentioned a few things, but none of them applied to me - I know that all people are different though.

I just want to know what I must do to seal the deal so to speak, to turn one date in to many dates with the same girl.

Everytime I think a date goes well, it doesn''t :( I''ll text the girl the next day to say that I had a good time and will speak to her soon, which means a couple days later. The unfortunate part is that the couple days later never happens. I''ll get voicemail or she won''t respond to the text.

I hardly ever kiss on the first date. Perhaps that''s the problem, maybe I should force myself on her and be like a vulture to a dead carcass?

What do I do? What must I do?

Joe

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I'm sure other readers could usefully comment, but first dates are far outside my specialist knowledge ! Maybe you're mixing with girls not actually interested in second dates, with anyone ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mercy? | 2011/03/30

I don''t know how to answer you, first dates are all unique with those involved, there is no common trend.

However if you want a great woman it seems one option is to be a total bastard (within reason) treat them like utter crap and they just won''t leave you alone. Ignore them, dont answer their calls and be generally dismissive. I myself won''t sustain that behaviour long but from what I''ve learnt if you can do that, that girl will be like your own personal helper, your own little dream girl just like in the garden long long ago.

Reply to Mercy?
Posted by: Sam | 2011/03/30

On a first date just try and create an atmosphere that she will enjoy and will want to do again. What I mean is you must be interesting and fun for her to be around. Try and make her laugh as much as possible and make sure you keep her interested in things that she will be interested in. Ask questions about her like what music she likes, what kind of movies, what her hobbies are and so on. Also give her complements on how she looks and so on. You want to be able to gain her trust and she must feel comfortable in your company or you will be toast. After a while she will get to the point where she will start getting attracted to you if you get these basics right.

And a BIG no-no is forcing yourself on her  this will at least make sure that she will never want to see you again and at worst could get you arrested. It is not a good idea to do anything that will make your date frightened or worried. Good luck!!

Reply to Sam
Posted by: lisa | 2011/03/30

Don''t kiss her on the first date and don''t be sugary sweet its overkill.

be yourself not too aloof shouldn''t be a problem?

Reply to lisa
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/30

I'm sure other readers could usefully comment, but first dates are far outside my specialist knowledge ! Maybe you're mixing with girls not actually interested in second dates, with anyone ?

Reply to cybershrink

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