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Question
Posted by: getting over | 2010/07/23

how often should i contact him if at all?

i wrote about this earlier. my guy didnt get over the hurt with previous girlfriend and wants a time out for about a month to deal with it.

he has an extremely presured job as well. we have not been able to speak about us since he informed me of the time out. how often can I contact him whilst he deals with this or should I not contact him at all?

since he told me hasnt contacted me much but reading his email he defnitiely wants to be with me he just wants to get his ex out of his system. he doesnt want her back at all he says.

I want to be there for him during this.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Surely you do indeed need to take him for counselling. This may be a really remediable thing, but can't be ignored. All kids are more curious about sex and other adult matters than most of us suspect, but he sounds unusually driven and bothered about it, for his age, with less concern about right and wrong or even abou being found out. Some kids might, in some circumstances, lie about such events, or invent complaints, but it isn't believable that a girl of 4 would have enough knowledge to invemnt such a story, let alone be motivated to report it falsely.
There are really no rules about this type of situation. Why not call him and say you respect his request for some time to himself, but would like to check with him now and again to see how he is - how often could you call him ? See what he says.
Being "there" for someone may need you to NOT physically be there. If he is finding it very hard to get the ex out of his system, suggest he consider seeing a counsellor for a few sessions to help him achieve this

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Our users say:
Posted by: Hoody | 2010/07/23

This is a lame excuse!

Reply to Hoody
Posted by: Dineo | 2010/07/23

Take him out of your system if you don''t want to get hurt. You don''t need arrogant people like him in your life. Get someone who does not have someone in their system and tell me how old are you to believe that crap

Reply to Dineo
Posted by: Real man | 2010/07/23

No man need a break he''s just playing you sweetness, what system?

Reply to Real man
Posted by: Me think | 2010/07/23

hhahah please tell me you are not serious? So he decided to start a relationship with you while his ex is still in his systme? what kind of a man does that? I''m telling you right now this man is not real interested in you, he is just trying to find a nice way to lay u off..

He wanted a break so give him some, do not contact him..but as woman to woman i would advice u to take him out your system cause he is gonna break up with u sooner that later.

Reply to Me think
Posted by: peter | 2010/07/23

don''t waste your time contacting him you will look desperate, let him make the effort, he wanted the break so he must make the contact

Reply to peter
Posted by: getting over | 2010/07/23

he said in bold he doesnt want her back, he just wants to get the pain out of his system.

Reply to getting over
Posted by: Del | 2010/07/23

He is not sure weather he wants to be with you or not, if he''s over his ex i don''t see why you guys must take a break. Why keeping her out of his system if he''s over her? I suggest you open your eyes and look somewhere else

Reply to Del
Posted by: getting over | 2010/07/23

we really like each other, that is why we started to see each other.

Reply to getting over
Posted by: Babe | 2010/07/23

Hi gettiong over.... your guy seems to be a " spoilt brat"  how on earth did he get himself into a relationship when heis not yet over his ex? Dont u think he''s just wasting your time by keeping you guessing???

Reply to Babe
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/23

Surely you do indeed need to take him for counselling. This may be a really remediable thing, but can't be ignored. All kids are more curious about sex and other adult matters than most of us suspect, but he sounds unusually driven and bothered about it, for his age, with less concern about right and wrong or even abou being found out. Some kids might, in some circumstances, lie about such events, or invent complaints, but it isn't believable that a girl of 4 would have enough knowledge to invemnt such a story, let alone be motivated to report it falsely.
There are really no rules about this type of situation. Why not call him and say you respect his request for some time to himself, but would like to check with him now and again to see how he is - how often could you call him ? See what he says.
Being "there" for someone may need you to NOT physically be there. If he is finding it very hard to get the ex out of his system, suggest he consider seeing a counsellor for a few sessions to help him achieve this

Reply to cybershrink

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