Our expert says:
People who have had a marriage or relationship end painfully, are understandably cautious about future relationships, and would want to avoid being hurt again. But if after 5 years he still doesn't know whether he trusts you and wants to commit, further time isn't going to answer that question.
It does indeed sound as though he has become very set in his ways, and such folks are reluctant to change. Maybe he loves having you as a friend, in your own place, but not as a potential wife.
What he already has, is what he wanrts. If you want more than that, you're really not likely to find it with him.
He's comfortable, and doesn't want to disturb his comfort. If you want anything more, or different, it'll need to be with someone else.
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