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Question
Posted by: Butterfly1982 | 2010-08-28

How much do I tell my partner about my life?

Hi again,

I know there is such a thing as ''overshare'' so, do I tell my partner the whole story since school where my sister had bulimia and that made me more susceptible to also develop one so I''ve always had body issues and dabbled in anorexia etc. Then I went overseas for a year and gained 16kg which completely threw me and I started taking anti depressants the year after while at university. Also I''ve been diagnosed with add/adhd. Do I tell him how Wellbutrin can affect me i.e. memory loss, increased sex drive. Where do I draw the line? Must I explain about depression and that it is not an illness or do I just tell him and expect him to read up about it or that he already knows a lot about it. He does have a degree in psychology that he did a few years back so he won''t be completely ignorant about it. I want to let him in but also don''t want to ''bore'' him with my body issues as I know guys don''t always ''get'' this about us women and some things you just don''t share and is private? Again, any of your thoughts are welcome. Thank you.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Yes, there is overshare, and undershare. In the example you raise, I wonder why he would need to hear about your sister, for instance. You're not defending or excusing yourself, just telling him the headline news on those isues which might affect him or be directly relevant in your relationship.
He may not be interested in Wellbutrin or any other specific drug, but if you find your mmory has become unreliable, that's useful for him to know.
Why would you need to explain that Depression "is not an illness" when it is ? And if he has a degree in psychology, he should surely understand a lot about it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-08-29

Yes, there is overshare, and undershare. In the example you raise, I wonder why he would need to hear about your sister, for instance. You're not defending or excusing yourself, just telling him the headline news on those isues which might affect him or be directly relevant in your relationship.
He may not be interested in Wellbutrin or any other specific drug, but if you find your mmory has become unreliable, that's useful for him to know.
Why would you need to explain that Depression "is not an illness" when it is ? And if he has a degree in psychology, he should surely understand a lot about it.

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