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Question
Posted by: anon | 2012/02/15

How many men do this and why?

Good day, i would like to hear from everyone that has got something to say on this and a answer from the doc on why men do this.

I have been in a relationship for 7years now, I am not a big sex maniac but dont keep my partner from it as i know a relationship goes both ways,

He sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night like at 2 am and then would want to have some sort of sexual activity with me while i am sleeping, He wil just start touching me or pull my pants down and so forth. I am a sound sleeper so it does take me awile before i wake up and tell him to stop it cause i am sleeping sometimes i wonder what he does to me while i sleep that i am not even aware of. last night he just started tongue kissing me while i am sleeping.

Do most men do this or is there something wrong with mine?
why does he wake in the middle of the night to do this?

awaiting your replies

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This type of question often arises, and assumes that very large-scale generalizations are true === in this case, for instance, that this is something which MEN all or almost all do, and that there is one reason why they do it, when they do. But that is just not the case.
Every variety of misbehaviour is sometimes shown by SOME men, and SOME women, and usually for a variety of reasons.
When someone else is doing something which troubles you, what matters is never actually why Men ( or Women ) do this - but why one particular man, or woman, does this.
What you are describing is inconsiderate and selfish behaviour, of an old-fashioned chauvenistic type that assumes that a woman should always be ready to please her man. And that only the man's wishes and pleasures matter, and not those of his partner. And that, of course, is nonsense.
Remind him that masturbation is always available to him when he is too impatient to wait for an occasion when you are awake and willing.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

6
Our users say:
Posted by: Pixie | 2012/02/17

I have a very straightforward theory about this: If he keeps on doing it without your consent, then I''d label it abuse. Sounds extreme, but how would you define abuse?? And especially after you explicitly asked him to NOT fricken touch you in the middle of the night, where the hell does he get his nerve from??!

No respect and no regard for your feelings. His respect for you should override his hormones not otherway around.

Tongue kissing in the middle of the night while you are asleep?? Does that make him feel more like a man, to take his chances while you are unaware and vulnerable?? What is his deal?? This sounds like a man who loves the feeling of taking advantage of someone... and you shouldn''t let that someone be YOU.

Reply to Pixie
Posted by: Realist | 2012/02/16

Yes, he is a selfish person who is not showing you respect. Its all about HIM, what HE wants to do when HE wants to do it. No consideration for you or your wants or needs. Very dominant behavior. His touching, kissing and pulling at your clothes sounds almost creepy. I would really tell him to stop his piggish antics. Its all about respect and consideration.

Reply to Realist
Posted by: almost mad | 2012/02/15

No. Not all men do that. Surely he should want you to be awake while he touches you. You should tell him what he does is not acceptable. I can imagine how tired you must be in the morning because you get woken in the middle of the night. Also, it doesnt mean that just because he stays in bed to fondle you while you sleep that you should be grateful he''s not watching porn etc. this does not prove that he doesnt watch porn often or that he isnt cheating. He needs to respect you.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: Anri | 2012/02/15

My fiance does this sometimes but it hasn''t ever gone beyond touching (i''m a light sleeper). I personally don''t mind most of the time, it''s nice to wake up to, but when I''m not in the mood I tell him and he goes entertain himself without there being any hard feelings between us.
If you''re wondering whether it''s normal or not, I wouldn''t be to concerned, men seem to get aroused randomly and for no apparent reason quite often  )
If it makes you feel uncomfortable or upsets you, you should discuss it with him, if you haven''t discussed it before it''s quite possibly that he thinks you find it as pleasurable as he do.

Reply to Anri
Posted by: Doris | 2012/02/15

At least he''s not getting out of bed when he''s in the mood and go watch porn or something. He stays with you, which indicates to me that he wants only you, which by my standards is a good thing. Ask him why... Most men are very honest when asked directly why they do things. Communication is afterall very important.

Reply to Doris
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/02/15

This type of question often arises, and assumes that very large-scale generalizations are true === in this case, for instance, that this is something which MEN all or almost all do, and that there is one reason why they do it, when they do. But that is just not the case.
Every variety of misbehaviour is sometimes shown by SOME men, and SOME women, and usually for a variety of reasons.
When someone else is doing something which troubles you, what matters is never actually why Men ( or Women ) do this - but why one particular man, or woman, does this.
What you are describing is inconsiderate and selfish behaviour, of an old-fashioned chauvenistic type that assumes that a woman should always be ready to please her man. And that only the man's wishes and pleasures matter, and not those of his partner. And that, of course, is nonsense.
Remind him that masturbation is always available to him when he is too impatient to wait for an occasion when you are awake and willing.

Reply to cybershrink

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