Posted by: How does one handle this | 2013-02-13

How does one handle this

I am persistently being asked by my husband if I had an affair - so I get angry because I did not and it is insulting to me for him to ask that question. He is then convinced that I am because I get angry and become defensive. I am being punished for something I did not do, so I dont even have the pleasure that goes with my pain...this has been gong on for at least 4 years. I ask my husband why he believes this and he says that I once asked for a different style, hence I have learnt this somewhere - really? How do I stop this, it seems any response is the wrong one- thanks

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Our expert says:
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He sounds excessively insecure and of low self-esteem, and maybe specifically extra insecure about his sexual abilities. Remind him that he surely would become angry if you asked him whether he had been having an affair, maybe especially so if he had not been doing so. Can you persuade him to join you in marriage counselling ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Rodney | 2013-02-14

I am not saying you had an affair but I also understand what your husband thinks. My ex-wife once told me out of the blue that I have the biggest b@lls and they feel good. Then one evening she asked me how long does it take for a man to be ready for the second round. I NEVER gave this another thought and then found out about her affair and one of the things I read was that he enjoyed waiting and then go for the second round and he loves it when she plays with his b@lls!!!!!

So there was something more to her actions!!

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Posted by: Tokie | 2013-02-13

He''s the one who has had an affair, or is having one.

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Posted by: Christina | 2013-02-13

Easy, just tell him the reason why he is accusing you is because he had an affair. Smile and walkaway. I know, my boyfriend sometimes jokes that I am. I can''t hold my phone without him asking who I am chatting to. But I than tell him. " hey, just because you see what all those beautiful women at work do behind their husbands back. So don''t compare me to them, and don''t take your frustatrions out on me, that they screwing other men and not you" . I too use to get defensive and upset. That my boyfriend would say the same thing. " if you''re not, than why get all upset" . Well duh, we going to get upset, cause that means they think little of us. They think we have no self respect. Best is to, like say things like " oh, you would like that, wouldn''t you" . Or " you kmow what they say, only guilty people like to point fingers, so you must be the one screwing about" .

As far as positions goes. We read up on these things, on the Internet, the karma sutra books. Our lady friends shows off about the position they did " last night" . There''s so many reasons. This does not mean, we having an affair.

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