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Question
Posted by: BLESSINGS | 2008/06/13

How do you deal with this matter?

Hi

How do you deal with this matter?

I work with my partner and we spend literally 27/7 together, we live together. The office space we are working in is an open plan area, so everything he does I see, and vice versa.

We seem to be so uncomfortable with each other by that I mean the jelousy is so high, there are few man in our work place and many woman. He is quite good looking and I am quite sexy myself. Women in the office find him attractive, so some of them just try to get his attention, to be honest at times he enjoys the attention, reason being...,

firtly he keeps doing things to spite me, like speak with one of the girls that he know that I warned him about, I mean I am a woman and I should know what woman do to gain attention or try to interfer in a relationship, just the other day he had a fling with one of the girls in the office which now this fling is the talk of the office.

I cannot seem to forget about it and the forgiveness part is hard because all I have done is when days came and he became insecure I would prove to him that I am not cheating. When he did it right in my work, well he claims that he did not kiss her, however they were "playing", I mean what is that.

I gave him my life and all I seem to do is beg,cry and fight with him, and when we do fight he is so insesitive, he would do the most annoying things to make me even more upset.

You know I love this man, and to be honest when he comes to me and mentions or accuses me of cheating I actually do not care anymore especially after the fact that he had a fling with my collegue, now I just feel he is looking for anything to accuse me just to ease his concious.

I trusted him, and now it is difficult to trust him again. He keeps accusing me of having a e-mail affair when all my time I spend with him, how do I have and affair when I am with him all the time, and what man would want to just have and affair and not want to meet the person he is having an affair with. Or am I wrong?

How ever I do not blame him because he kissed the woman whom he had a fling with just after I left the room, so to him if he can do it seconds later that means I can do it over the mail. I mean come on.

To be honest at times I wish the things he accuses me off I did do them then I would not feel so hurt by his accusations when all I try to do is ease his insecurity when all he does is want to raise mine.

Does he realy love me, or is he just........................to be honest I do not know anymore.

Is love not suppose to protect you from pain? I know that couples fight however the spitefullness is just uncalled for.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why not see a relationship counsellor together ? It sounds as though these issues could be sorted out without too much difficulty, so you could both be happier ? Don't fall into the trap of letting yourself get tempted to stray just because he might falsely accuse you of doing so --- that solves no problems and only makes things worse. Only in sincere discussion between you can you understand and solve these problems --- and a counsellor helps this to happen ( and acts as a referee !)

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Gentle Voice Of Reason (GVOR) | 2008/06/13

Is there no way you can find another job? Or work in a different space as he does. You guys are going to drive each other up the wall because youre constantly in each others' faces. This situation only usually works when the partners involved are matured enough to be professional at work, treat each other with respect as if they were proper business partners and then leave work behind when you "go home". But this is not the case with you guys, so you'll have to start thinking of another alternative until he decides to grow up, both of you in fact.

Reply to Gentle Voice Of Reason (GVOR)

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