Posted by: gruss | 2013-01-21

How do u tell ur hubby u love someone else

I cheated on my hubby with this man I met, when I first saw him I was blown away. I called him and went to his house out of curiosity but unfortunately we ended up having sx. 4 yrs later my husband found out and he saw all the love emails and chats I was sending this guy over the years. The truth is when I think abt this guy i feel knots in my stomach. He makes my heart smile. Its been 3 years since I last saw him but an email from him makes my day. problem is I''m married and I still want to be with my hubby. I need to come clean about my feeling for this guy to my hubby and I hope he can forgive me for being a cheat and help me get over this guy. I still love my hubby very much, I enjoy being with him, around him and our conversations. Only if I could deal with the feelings I have for the other guy my world will be better.
How do I tell my hubby thoough, I really dont wanna lose him.

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Our expert says:
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Blown away or not, you showed no committment to your husband or marriage by going to have sex with a many you really didn't know, after sending multitudes of grubby emails and chats for years, out of CURIOSITY ?
I agree completely with SK. WHy do you "still want to be with your hubby" ? For the security of his income, the home, and so on ? Because you've chosen to cheat on him emoptionally and physically over a long period, apparently simply for your own enjoyment. You "don't wanna lose him" but have been content to lie to him and deceive him for years ? What has he done to deserve you and your behaviour ?
As SK says, if you'd like to return to honesty, confess to your husband that you['ve been cheating, and apologise, divorce him, and then see how long your beloved other guy wants to hang around

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Our users say:
Posted by: Mina | 2013-02-06

Gruss, you have invited a third party into a marriage and violated everything that marriage stands.

You are asking how do you tell your husband you love someone else. My answer, he already knows. The emails he saw told him a whole lot. He''s in denial, for whatever reason. I would have said I felt sorry for him, but quite frankly he should have walked out on you the day he read those emails. He seems to be the kind that takes the ostrich approach of burying their heads in the sand. When he lifts it up, all of this would have gone away.

Maybe your arrangement is working for the two of you, and we shouldn''t judge. But it is a very strange arrangement. In the end, neither one of you will respect for the other.

Reply to Mina
Posted by: Just Saying! | 2013-01-22

I once watch a movie of a woman having a fling , affair or what ever you would like to call it, she was leading a double life, was happy with her choices until she saw her husband in the arms of someone else, and then she went pshyco , the therapist that she saw, asked her why she is in such a mental state if she is doing it herself, she could not answer.
You are being very unfair to your husband, and you should leave him let him go .
You can not justify your feelings whatsoever, you are in love with the idea of being in love, (forbidden fruit is always nice until caught out) this guy only sees you as a goodtime girl because you have a ring on your finger a marraige, no strings attached fun, I am sure if you asked this guy if you must leave your husband for him, You will never ever hear from him again.
Try it I dare you but please tell your hubby and I hope and pray for your sake he is not going to show you the door.

You are prepared to loose everything for a fling.
Think wisely , I was there before and my tolerance for cheaters or cheating is very low.
You can not have your cake and eat it.

Sorry if I sound harsh but you need a reality check, and please dont go phsyco if you husband decides to show you the door or decides to also have a fling or two, you started this game and it is not going to end well either way!
I will never ever get married in my life again, I am living with my life partner for over 4 years, and he feels the same about cheating , zero tollerance.

Reply to Just Saying!
Posted by: Chris758 | 2013-01-22

You do not love your husband, you are trying to convince yourself and everybody else but if you loved your husband, you would never have slept with this man.

When will women learn that the man enjoys the fling and sex but he does not get emotionaly involved!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: SK | 2013-01-21

I think you must deal with your feelings for this guy separately. You are not being fair on your husband, he deserves to be with someone who will love him the way he wants to be loved. You are not even feeling sorry about the situation. Just get a divorce and pursue your relationship with the other guy.

Unfortunately you are going to find out that whatever hold this guy has on you will disappear as soon as you become a divorcee. Staying inlove with someone is a decision you make. How can you think that it is normal that you are inlove with someone else but do not want to divorce your husband? What must he do? Wait until you have sorted yourself out? How is he supposed to feel being told you are my number 2?

p.s. If this guy wanted to be with you, you would be married to him by now. He does not love you, he just enjoys having that hold on you.

Reply to SK

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