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Question
Posted by: Anon for this | 2010/11/11

How do i move on

My husband is caring and loving but have a tendency of bottling things up or just not wanting to
Address issues that concerns us. For the past weeks our sex life deterioted and at the time my sex drive was so high so I address the issue with him trying to establish if maybe he is stressed or any other reason I might not be aware of,I was very sensitive and polite when I brought up the issue he just ignored me and he was very upset.

Later on the day he just bust and told me he is not stressed or anything the problem is me, I am lazy in bed and obese don’ t I know that all fat people stink. i was so deeply hurt and bruised I am aware that I have not been very active in bed but stinking? .Well I decided I was going to change my lifestyle and start to eat healthy and exercise but it is more about staying healthy , losing weight it is just a bonus for me.Since the incidence our sex life has gone back to normal but I am not enjoying it as I cannot get over the ugly words he said to me though I love him very much

He has not apologised but does things to show remorse and love but I am still hurt I honestly
Do not know how to move on and forget about the whole thing for ten years he has never complained about my weight how do I heal inside

Thank you so much for your time and I apologise for the long post

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberDoc

Dear Anon for this

Sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment. Often they will also say hurtful things to mask the real problem or to shift the blame because they feel quilty.

Good for you to try and change your life style! But remember in the end even men with the most beautiful, thin and sexy wifes have marriage problems, so your weight is just a small part of the problem - and you can change it. You are so much more as a person than just your shape!

Some men find it very difficult to talk about problems or to say "I'm sorry". Wait for the right moment and share your feelings about feeling self conscious now when having sex because of his hurtful words and then make the decision to forgive him - for as you said, you can see that he is trying to make up for it.

Dr Bets

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Martie | 2010/11/11

Wil net se hoe jammer ek vir jou is. Ek het presies dieselfde oorgekom as jy en alhowel daar niks is regtig wat ''n mens beter sal laat voel nie wil ek net se ek dink aan jou en hoop dinge gaan vir jou beter.

Reply to Martie
Posted by: Anon fo this | 2010/11/11

Sorry this was meant for the cyber shrink

Reply to Anon fo this
Posted by: Cyberdoc | 2010/11/11

Dear Anon for this

Sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment. Often they will also say hurtful things to mask the real problem or to shift the blame because they feel quilty.

Good for you to try and change your life style! But remember in the end even men with the most beautiful, thin and sexy wifes have marriage problems, so your weight is just a small part of the problem - and you can change it. You are so much more as a person than just your shape!

Some men find it very difficult to talk about problems or to say "I'm sorry". Wait for the right moment and share your feelings about feeling self conscious now when having sex because of his hurtful words and then make the decision to forgive him - for as you said, you can see that he is trying to make up for it.

Dr Bets

Reply to Cyberdoc

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