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Question
Posted by: Sister | 2011/10/17

How do i let go?

Me and my sister have been very close, we''ve always been there for each other through the good and bad times and looked out for each other, raised by grandparents. My sister was married and her husband passed away in an accident 4 years back, and our bond became more stronger as i became her shoulder to cry on and strenght when she needed one, my sister met someone, whom she seem to like and spend time with. I have met the guy and he seem to be ok and make my sister happy but i grown so overprotective of my sister that i get hurt and angry when the guy comes around especially if its more than twice a week. I would like to see my sister happy, as she is now i am just struggling to let go, where do i start

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its obviously great for any two people, especially sibs, to be so affectionate and supportive of each other. But where it becomes a matter of being over-protective, and of this relationship becoming a substitute for rather than a supplement to, other relationships, and limiting each other's lives, it can become a problem. Being an adult includes the right to make mistakes. This guy even you admit "seems to be OK"- but you resent him spending time with your sister, even if that makes her happy. Maybe you need to concentrate more on developing your own life, developing friendships and activities that have nothing to do with her, so you can become more like sisters and less like siamese twins. Counselling might help you to do this more effectively and efficiently

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Jenna | 2011/10/17

You''re a good sister for being protective, but remember she also needs to be happy and if she picks up on your anger she is going to feel like she needs to " chose"  and that will NOT make her happy!

If she feels ready to date again, then you need not worry. :)

It means she''s over the grief of losing her husband and she wants to branch out again. Don''t get angry at any boyfriends because that will, in a way, hold her back.

Reply to Jenna
Posted by: Sister | 2011/10/17

Thanks Prof, will work at that.

Reply to Sister
Posted by: Gogo | 2011/10/17

U need to get a boyfriend to keep you busy

Reply to Gogo
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/10/17

Its obviously great for any two people, especially sibs, to be so affectionate and supportive of each other. But where it becomes a matter of being over-protective, and of this relationship becoming a substitute for rather than a supplement to, other relationships, and limiting each other's lives, it can become a problem. Being an adult includes the right to make mistakes. This guy even you admit "seems to be OK"- but you resent him spending time with your sister, even if that makes her happy. Maybe you need to concentrate more on developing your own life, developing friendships and activities that have nothing to do with her, so you can become more like sisters and less like siamese twins. Counselling might help you to do this more effectively and efficiently

Reply to cybershrink

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