Our expert says:
I don't understand the sense of any church inviting any man to preach, to allow him to make cruel jokes about his wife. Doing and saying things he knows will hurt you is cruel, and apologising emptily afterwards doesn't excuse such bad behaviour. And it is not how a godly or religious man behaves.
Maybe other readers can comment on how they think you might have good reasons to suspect him of cheating. But he sounds as though he doesn't respect women enough to treat anyone else any better than he treats you.
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