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Question
Posted by: Pink | 2010/03/16

How do I keep my distance

Yesterday my brother called me and asked me to stop interfering and having contact with his girlfriend. Boy was I shocked, but then I actually shouldn''t becos liars will be liars. He has sorted himself out with parents, so now I must back away. I told him that he called me and begged for help and asked me to speak to his girlfriend.

I asked him how they could say that they didn''t want me to find out about the money they won becos I will pester them for a loan. He said that he will never let his family down, so to cover up why they lied, they had to use me as an excuse. I was upset that they could spread a lie about me so as to maintain a ''good'' name.

I told him I don''t want to speak to him or anyone else in their home. One of my brothers lives with me and the whole of last night they called him. He also lies to cover up things.

I told my hubby about this and he said I must forget it and must still be good to them. I said I can''t go on being hurt by them. I don''t want our child spending holidays there.

How do I make hubby see that their lies make us out to be bad. People will think that we keep asking them for money.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

YOu are still giving them power over you by remaining so involved and making whatever they say so important to you. You can remain polite but distant ( giving them less opportunities to say nasty things about you ) without getting involved in their affairs or letting them get involved in yours. You don't need to allow them to hurt you, and your child shouldn't spend holidays anywhere you don't like or approve of - nowhere is there a rule that this must happen

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/16

YOu are still giving them power over you by remaining so involved and making whatever they say so important to you. You can remain polite but distant ( giving them less opportunities to say nasty things about you ) without getting involved in their affairs or letting them get involved in yours. You don't need to allow them to hurt you, and your child shouldn't spend holidays anywhere you don't like or approve of - nowhere is there a rule that this must happen

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