Our expert says:
It sounds as though after your bad experience way back, you have almost deliberately chosen to match yourself with men who are unavailable, or with whom the relationship is otherwise doomed - so when it inevitably fails, at least its likely to be obviously his fault and not yours ! And you've got out of the habits of a more usual and enjoyable relationship, with un-icy and available guys.
It sounds as though you have developed such a very low opinion of yourself, that you suspect anyone who actually seems to like you yourself.
You seem to have a very, very low self-esteem and self-confidence. Apparently, you feel that you can only buy a shallow and temporary relationship with a guy by paying with sex, and that nobody could like you for who you actually are - and if he does seem to like you, there must be something awful wrong wih a guy with such dreadful bad taste !
I;'m sorry to hear that the counsellors you saw were not helpful - maybe they were too inexperienced to handle these issues. But you have surely hit the nail right on the head when you recognize that the therapeutic relations with them were just like your social relationships - they'd be fine so long as the counsellor was useless, but as soon as they began to really build a useful relationship with you and start to get close to the important issues, yet again you bailed out, and avoided what needed to be done.
See a more experienced counsellor or preferably a good clinical psychologist for psychotherapy, and vow to yourself to stay in it until these things have been worked out. You can do it, an it will be well worth it.
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