Our expert says:
Some people do indeed, expect unrealistically impossible things from others. Healthy cultural traditions guide us, without forcing us to ignore all other factors. And healthy cultures evolve and adapt to circumstances. Maybe traditionally the Tsonga loved kids - and they probably tended to have many kids ( just as happened in most of Europe ) because in the old days infant mortality was high, and to have 1 or 2 children grow to be adults, you needed to have many more babies. In those days safe and effective contraception wasn't available, so continuing a sex life without having more children was difficult or impossible. Surely in most people of the world, the genuine tradition was to have whatever children you wanted and could afford to raise well and love - and to raise the kids you had. Surely Tonga tradition doesn't specify that 2 kids is a dreadful thing, but 5 is perfect ?
Is he not using excuses of cultural tradition to try to enforce what he personally wants ?
Is he so insecure and uncertain of his manhood, that he feels he must force some women or other to bear 5 children to prove it for him ?
Have you discussed this with your mother, indeed parents ? Maybe she can tyalk some sense into him, especially into his distortion of the cultural traditions to fit his own selfish wishes ?
Does he want exactly 5 children, even if he can't support them properly and they live miserable lives because of his obsession ? Has he never heard of the value of quality rather than quantity ? Only a fool thinks more of any man just because he has fathered more children. Any fool can father numerous children ; only a real man can know what is enough and would prefer to raise fewer kids really well, and with love rather than arrogance.
The more men that stick to his old-fashioned and selfish views, the more difficult it will be to raise the standard of living of our over-populated country
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