Our expert says:
A wise man once said that there are 2 tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want. The other is getting what you want.
Actually, the felings you describe are more common than most people recognize, and we'd probably call the Ambivalence. We do and don't want some things to happen, because there are reasons in favour of each option.
Its sad that adults ( not always behaving with the maturity we'd expect from them ) so often create situations that are so miserable for others, especially for children / youngsters, for basically selfish reasons. We don't know what your dad is thinking of in making this latest decision. Maybe he tried to make things work better while living closer, and has now decided that this didnt work, and wants to try to make a fresh start. Maybe he doesn't fully realize how much his decisions and actions have hurt you and your sister, and, of course, your mom.
Don't take the responsibility for trying to sort it all out onto your own shoulders - that's his responsibility, and maybe your mom's. Your task now is to get yourself as well as possible and work through your current problems so as to (a) not be a worry for your mom, and (b) then maybe be more available to be helpful if the adults try to sort things out better. I certainly understand that you'd want to support your sister. And in such situations though we;d like to magically make everything great again, what is usually most useful is to just be there for her, to be available, for her to talk to when she feels like talking, and just be around silently when she doesn't. Things won't work out as badly as she feels sure they will, but it takes time to see how best they can be worked out.
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