Posted by: Sugah | 2009-03-05

How do I handle this


I have a very hot tempered husband, whenever we argue he is never wrong but I am (so he thinks), he shouts at me, has no respect for me at all. He expects me to do everything in the house ie house chores, he will tell me that a woman belongs in the kitchen and sometimes I am tired, yes it' s only the 2 of us but I work Mondays to Fridays. He gets very irritated when I ask him questions he would ask me e.g. where are you going? he gets very angry, yesterday we had a very minor argument he started shouting at me and then dropped the phone on my ear. I was very upset, when I got home I moved to the spare room (maybe overreacted!!) thinking that he was going to beg me but no all I got was an sms telling me that he is moving out of our place, I should look for someone to share the place with. I feel very much unappreciated, I think he wanted an excuse to tell me that he wants out. What puzzles me is that when we are happy we are very happy he can be a nice guy but he gives me mixed feelings of what he is all about. I know I have given my all to this marriage and I love him very much. We' ve been together for 4 years now. I have doubts that he loves me, I have a feeling there is someone else but I just can' t put my finger on it. We have no children together yet, I don' t know if that is the problem because he wants children badly, I have been to the doctors they told me that I am able to conceive but maybe it' s just not the right time. Even when i ask him questions of concern like, why do you look so down today? his answer would be, please leave me alone. Please doc tell me is this marriage worth fighting for?

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Our expert says:
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He'd have been a pretty ordinary husband --- over a hundred years ago. Nowadays, civilized people believe man and women are equals, and share the costs and the chores of the household. That he was so eager to use the excuse of a minor quarrel to move out, suggests that he wanted to do so, but wanted to be able to blame you. Maybe he had someone else he wanted to move in with ? Its only possible to understand why the pai of you haven't yet had children if BOTH of you are fully tested --- it's possible the problem may be on his side, and not yours.
We can't tell you whether the marriage is worth fighting for. Maybe a counsellor could help you explore this issue and reach a wiser decision. Are there sympathetic members of your famioly or his who could intervene and help here ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Don' t do it girl | 2009-03-06

Been there got the T shirt, not personally but through someone in the same position. Thankfully and I mean this seriously, there ARE no kids involved. That just creates another whole lot of serious problems, not only for the unhappy couple, but most importantly for the child who will go through its entire life with parent problems. May I be blunt enough to say that you my girl are wasting your time. Its is so clear, perhaps not to you, but he does not love you, not at all not one bit. Once you can come to terms with this unpleasant, hurtful and confidence breaking truth, you will see him for what he is and be more than happy to part ways. Its for the best, believe me, you two will never make a go of it. He has shown his true colours and will never change. Goode luck to you.

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