Our expert says:
Am I right in guessing this irritating habit hasn't just begun in recent weks ? Has it got worse recently, or has your ability to tolerate it diminished ? Many who drink make ugly drunks, and, losing their inhibitions and manners, are rude and unpleasant then. Usually, it'd be worth trying marriage counselling, if he could be persuaded to so do, to see if this bad behaviour can be revised.
If you have good reason to believe that he might be a threat to your life, the matter is diferent. And if he really did previously seriousoly try to burn your mothers house ( rather than maybe, for instance falling asleep with a lighted cigarette ), then such possibilities need to be taken seriously . Clearly, you are really scared of him.
IF we had an effective police force, you might discuss this with them and see what they might suggest to protect your safety. If the house technically belongs to him, it'd be a question of your SAFELY leaving him ; if the house is technically yours, maybe it'd be an issue of having him removed, with a court order forbidding him from threatening, or approaching you, the house, or your mother and her house, in any way, or go to jail. Any specific threats, especially if they have been witnessed, can help you do so.
Check your local resources of groups like POWA , who should be able to provide experienced advice on finding the safest ways to protect yourself and the children.
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