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Question
Posted by: Annoyed | 2010/09/06

How do I get over myself

My partner has forced me to choose between him and, what he calls, a hobby. Of course I chose him.

I have danced for 11 years, and it is the only thing I have ever really felt passionate about. It takes up a lot of time, but I feel that in order to do something well you have to work at it. I understand his motivation for it - he wan''t to spend more time with me - and I can''t fault him for that!

However, I now feel distanced from him. I don''t want to be petty, but I''m feeling so annoyed that it takes an effort on my part to be civil, never mind lovey dovey.

Any suggestions on how I can move past it?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Anyone who would force you to choose between them and something that brings you joy, doesn't love you or understand you well enough. Surely between you, you could have worked out a realistic time-table to enable you to enjoy your da ncing, without neglecting the relationship ? Presumably ou're not practising for an olympic event, so the dancing practice need not take precedent over everything else ? If it does, he's rught, and you need to get it into more realistic perspective.
I don't suppose there's any possibility of interesting him in taking up some dancing, too ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: SweetChildOfMine | 2010/09/06

Convince him to dance with you. Surely if you''ve been dancing that long you have the ability and skill to perform such a feat?

Reply to SweetChildOfMine
Posted by: G | 2010/09/06

There are thousand of guys that for instance play golf each Saturday, some do it more often. If their wifes/ladies asked them to choose between them and golf it would be wrong. So this oke is selfish.

Surely between your practices you still had time for him as well?

If he is like that, he will make other demands in time.

Reply to G
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/09/06

Anyone who would force you to choose between them and something that brings you joy, doesn't love you or understand you well enough. Surely between you, you could have worked out a realistic time-table to enable you to enjoy your da ncing, without neglecting the relationship ? Presumably ou're not practising for an olympic event, so the dancing practice need not take precedent over everything else ? If it does, he's rught, and you need to get it into more realistic perspective.
I don't suppose there's any possibility of interesting him in taking up some dancing, too ?

Reply to cybershrink

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