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Question
Posted by: Miss Blue | 2010/02/16

How do I encourage hubby to see a therapist?

I have for the past 7 yrs been blaming myself for his anger, control issues, etc. I knew his past but I loved him and never thought it would be a problem to us.

Now I know he needs help. Any advice on how I can persuade him to get help. He is very hard headed and if I suggest therapy, he will tell me he has no problems. It is me with the problems.

Don' t get me wrong, he is a nice person. He goes out of hiw way to help other people and is the star employee. He bends over backwards to get stuff done at work and won' t even take sick leave when he is ill, or a day off when I am ill.

CS any suggestions for a therapist in the kensington, Bedfordview, Parktown area?

I actually feel human again after reading the responses. I was so convinced there was something wrong with me and I am hopeless as a mum &  wife.

Thank you everyone. Thank you CS.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There are no easy answers to that one, are there ? SO much depends on the characteristics of the person and one's existing communication with them. Generally, it is important to ensure they see such suggestions as emerging from genuine love and concern for them, and not, as is so easily their impression, as a form of criticism of them.
I can imagine, by the way, that he could indeed be an excellent employee / at work.
It's not your fault. And indeed, it is not HIS fault, either - he doesn't choose to be like this. IS it possible to chat, NOT critically, about how it can sometimes be hard to handle the habits and expectations one has picked up in life, maybe using some examples from yourself ( as he recognizes that YOU may have problems ) and talk of how you're thinking about whether it might help to see someone expert to advise on this. And later raise the question that maybe it ould be useful if he would join you in some such sessions, as sch things automatically involve and affect both of you. And emphasize that anything that could be achieved that way would benefit the child you both love so much

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/16

There are no easy answers to that one, are there ? SO much depends on the characteristics of the person and one's existing communication with them. Generally, it is important to ensure they see such suggestions as emerging from genuine love and concern for them, and not, as is so easily their impression, as a form of criticism of them.
I can imagine, by the way, that he could indeed be an excellent employee / at work.
It's not your fault. And indeed, it is not HIS fault, either - he doesn't choose to be like this. IS it possible to chat, NOT critically, about how it can sometimes be hard to handle the habits and expectations one has picked up in life, maybe using some examples from yourself ( as he recognizes that YOU may have problems ) and talk of how you're thinking about whether it might help to see someone expert to advise on this. And later raise the question that maybe it ould be useful if he would join you in some such sessions, as sch things automatically involve and affect both of you. And emphasize that anything that could be achieved that way would benefit the child you both love so much

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