Our expert says:
As you've discovered, smacking doesn't work, and only teaches children that it's OK to hurt people to get what you want. The chores you describe are FAR from being too much for a child of 9. You sound like a single parent, as you don't mention a father being round. Draw up a list of basic rules, including her routine chores and her duties, and of the consequences for breaking these rules. Limit these to what really matters, and chores do matter. The penalties must be something that bothers her, and apparently grounding her in whatever way you did it, doesn't bother her at all. What does she like and enjoy ? Penalties can include confiscation of cell-phone for a week at a time, no TV, no visiting friends or visits from friends, and so on. The rules must be applied consistently and calmly, not in anger. If she is to lose the phone for a week for not doing her chores, resuming her chores and doing them every day, could reduce the period of phone loss to 3 days.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal
advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.