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Question
Posted by: wondering | 2010-07-16

how do I change my guy''s opinion of me being needy?

I spoke about it earlier this week. He is now because the world cup is finished extremely busy. he has felt pressure from me this week even though i have contacted him less.

it all changed after sunday when he was busy with projects again. i now dont get affectionate texts any more.

i feel like he is irritated with me when he speaks to me. i dont think he knows how to handle stress. i have told him i will get used to his long hours of work but he still sees me as the insecure person i was on wednesday.

how do i change his view of me if i dont get to speak to him that often?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It really aounds as though you ARE needy, at least to a point beyond what you can reasonably expect of someone prperly engaged in his own career and business. Affectionate texts are not considered a basic human right which we can demand from others. I wonder whether it is him who is odd for becoming irritated when you make such unreasonable demands - its not him who is handling stress badly, but you.
See a counsellor and deal with your issues of neediness and expecting frequent affectionate compliments, otherwise this neediness may not only druve this guy away, but possibly other nice people

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

7
Our users say:
Posted by: Lovey | 2010-07-19

To me its obvious that the guy is not into u anymore, please let him go. If a man want to be with u, believe me no matter how busy he is he will make time for you,,I think u just need to read between the lines that he has lost interest in you, so my doll stop calling/sms him and just live your life.

Reply to Lovey
Posted by: Purple | 2010-07-19

Don''t ask him anything about next week.

If he hasn''t contacted you for two weeks, then send him an sms or an e-mail inviting him to join you for something you already have plans to do (so set up something with your friends in advance and invite him to join you on that), if he doesn''t want to join you, you still go ahead and do what you planned and enjoy yourself.

The more you contact him the less he will be interested in contacting you.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: Joe | 2010-07-16

Hey,

Why do you even bother? Honestly, i''m never that busy not to contact my friends (i''m single) and when I wasn''t single, I was never sooooooooooo busy that I couldnt sneak out a quick sms or phone call.

Drop that dude, he''s a loser

Reply to Joe
Posted by: dw | 2010-07-16

HI Wondering. Why dont you back off completely and leave the ball in his court? I know it is hard, but you will then give him the space to do what he wants to do and to miss you. If he doesnt contact you and want to see you, then you know he has lost interest and its time to move on. Its so hard, but that is what I would do. You can live without him.

Reply to dw
Posted by: wondering | 2010-07-16

i did not mention to him that i have not received affectionate text messages. i just noticed that it became non existent since this monday.

Reply to wondering
Posted by: wondering | 2010-07-16

thank you for your reply.

is it therefore unfair of me to ask when I will see him next?

both of us are going away this weekend and then the next weekend he is off for work away. i would like to see him at least once next week.

he is extremely tired in the evenings after work. i for instance would like to at least say hallo quick but he wants to sleep to have everything start all over again the next day.

how can i change his opinion of me now though after coming across as insecure.

Reply to wondering
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-07-16

It really aounds as though you ARE needy, at least to a point beyond what you can reasonably expect of someone prperly engaged in his own career and business. Affectionate texts are not considered a basic human right which we can demand from others. I wonder whether it is him who is odd for becoming irritated when you make such unreasonable demands - its not him who is handling stress badly, but you.
See a counsellor and deal with your issues of neediness and expecting frequent affectionate compliments, otherwise this neediness may not only druve this guy away, but possibly other nice people

Reply to cybershrink

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