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Question
Posted by: Kate | 2010/02/25

How do I change?

Hi Cs

Tell me how do I just be myself?
I have been at this company for 5 yrs and still I have not come out of my shell. I keep thinking, if I leave I could start over elsewhere and be myself from the start but I know from other situations that that is not what really happens.

I dont know what''s wrong with me, maybe this is just me? but then again I dont think so... why? because as soon as I get home I am totally different. I''m happy, I laugh, I chat my life away (well for what every one would allow me anyways lol)
When I''m with my bf or closest friends, pets I''m just me but as sson as ''others'' are in the picture I just freeze, I show no emotion, I control my comments, think 10 times over what I''m going to say, by which time the conversation is over lol!

When I''m with my bf''s family I''m just stiff, I have been going there for 4yrs now and do try and relax even with his friends.
He says that he wish I could be the way I am with him around his family &  friends and they really knew me the way he does because then they would love me as much as he does.
They think I''m a total ice-queen.

For me I feel it protects me, I wont have any come backs, prevent gossip or feel my words will be repeated, I will be judged by whatever comes out of my mouth. Its like I just dont want to allow anyone except who I chose to get close to me.
I just cant trust people either thats another reason I close up.
I sometimes hate ppl, even if I don''t know them.
I''ve become a really morbid person in public and at work and I wish it weren''t so but I find it hard to change this.
I dont even feel happy at work or out except for when I''m with the above mentioned ppl.
As soon as I get home my happiness starts and ends when I leave in the morning.

How do I change this and move on to becoming a more content person outside the home? Well without going for some sort of therapy if that is possible?
Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like a degree of a form of Social Anxiety Disorder, as you seem to feel uncertain and start to blur yourself, when in front of others, especially strangers or those who might evaluate you. CBT, Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy, probably from a psychologist, could help you to transform this situation

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/25

Sounds like a degree of a form of Social Anxiety Disorder, as you seem to feel uncertain and start to blur yourself, when in front of others, especially strangers or those who might evaluate you. CBT, Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy, probably from a psychologist, could help you to transform this situation

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