advertisement
Question
Posted by: Belinda | 2009/10/19

How can I help someone with a drug problem

I have a friend who i suspect is using some or other drugs. He has had major mood swings and over-reacts to most situations. He can no longer sit in company and always finds soemthing to do. He then dissappears at weird hours of the the evening only to return a few hours later with vague stories as to where he has been. He also becomes very aggressive when things do not go the way he wants it to. Previously he used to take a lot of pride in his appearance, but now he doesn' t care how he looks, and often leaves home looking really bad. He has a wife and a child, and I am so worried about them. All too often you hear scary stories about what drug merchants do to the families of people that owe them money. He also earns a good salary, but never has money, and before the end of the month he looks for petrol money to get to work. His wife has asked me to speak to him, but I feel so helpless, as I don' t know what to tell him so that he can change his ways. He also denies having a drug problem, but would he really admit to it??? Please help with advice, as I really want to make a difference, and don' t want to see anyone get hurt.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Good responses from both anons.
Your friend's behaviour does indeed sound distinctly odd, and could indeed be related to using drugs. But as has been said, without his own enthusiatic and sincere participation in treatment, he cannot be helped. And that starts by requiring him to admit to himself and others, what is going on. Earning a good salary and being chronically short of money is highly suspicious. All opne could say to him is, calmly, that he is not really fooling anybody, and that he needs help, and that you and his wife and friends will support him when he admits he needs help and seeks it and accepts it, but otherwise, his wife may need to consider how best to protect herself and the child.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009/10/20

Good responses from both anons.
Your friend's behaviour does indeed sound distinctly odd, and could indeed be related to using drugs. But as has been said, without his own enthusiatic and sincere participation in treatment, he cannot be helped. And that starts by requiring him to admit to himself and others, what is going on. Earning a good salary and being chronically short of money is highly suspicious. All opne could say to him is, calmly, that he is not really fooling anybody, and that he needs help, and that you and his wife and friends will support him when he admits he needs help and seeks it and accepts it, but otherwise, his wife may need to consider how best to protect herself and the child.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: anon | 2009/10/19

PS. Lifeline also offers free telephonic as well as face to face counselling. Your friend needs a lot of support. You sound like a good, caring friend.

Reply to anon
Posted by: anon | 2009/10/19

Sounds like he is in denial. The problem with addiction is unless the person who is the addict wants help, no one can force him to seek help. Obviously everyone around him has noticed the change in his behaviour, mood, appearance etc. He may have other problems besides the drug problem. By using drugs he is finding a way to escape reality and of course we all know the consequences.

Your friend (the wife) can give him an ultimatum, saying that unless he finds seeks help for his problem, she will leave with the child. However she may have to call his bluff if he does nothing.

She can get a court order, garnishee against his salary. Is she sure he is still working? Is he able to work in his condition?

She may also want to go for counselling which will help empower her to deal with her future.

There are many organisations, Sanca is one. They do allow a small quota per month for people who are unable to afford to pay for treatment but then again the person needs to WANT help.

The other alternative way for him to get help is only if the court orders him to.

Sounds like his life has become unmanageable.

Please call Lifeline as they have numerous resources and can refer you and his wife where to go for help.

There is also an organization called Tough Love. You can google them and find one near you.

Good luck!

Reply to anon

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement